guard: this was a lesson I learned when I was
in the volunteers, at the time Buonaparte was expected to land down at
Dunbar. Luckily for me in this case, I had, by some foolish mistake or
another, made an allowance of a half yard, over and above what I found I
could manage to shape on; so I boldly made up my mind to cut out the
piece altogether, it being in the back seam. In that business I trust I
showed the art of a good tradesman, having managed to do it so neatly
that it could not be noticed without the narrowest inspection; and having
the advantage of a covering by the coat-flaps, had indeed no chance of
being so, except on desperately windy days.

In the week succeeding that on which this unlucky mischance happened, an
accident almost as bad befell, though not to me, further than that every
one is bound by the Ten Commandments, to say nothing of his own
conscience, to take a part in the afflictions that befall their
door-neighbours.

When the voice of man was wheisht, and all was sunk in the sound sleep of
midnight, it chanced that I was busy dreaming that I was sitting one of
the spectators, looking at another play-acting piece of business. Before
coming this length, howsoever, I should by right have observed, that ere
going to bed I had eaten for my supper part of a black pudding, and two
sausages, that Widow Grassie had sent in a compliment to my wife, being a
genteel woman, and mindful of her friends--so that I must have had some
sort of nightmare, and not been exactly in my seven senses--else I could
not have been even dreaming of siccan a place. Well, as I was saying, in
the playhouse I thought I was; and all at once I heard Maister Wiggie,
like one crying in the wilderness, hallooing with a loud voice through
the window, bidding me flee from the snares, traps, and gin-nets of the
Evil One; and from the terrors of the wrath to come. I was in a terrible
funk; and just as I was trying to rise from the seat, that seemed somehow
glued to my body, and would not let me, to reach down my hat, which, with
its glazed cover, was hanging on a pin to one side, my face all red, and
glowing like a fiery furnace, for shame of being a second time caught in
deadly sin, I heard the kirk bell jow-jowing, as if it was the last trump
summoning sinners to their long and black account; and Maister Wiggie
thrust in his arm in his desperation, in a whirlwind of passion,
claughting hold of my hand like a vice, to drag me out he