_fattle_; I beg pardon, Madam! what I mean to say is, without
a _bight_.'"

School-girl _loq._--"When Uncle ---- was President, I was at the White
House at a state-dinner one evening. Senator ---- came rushing in
frantically after we had been at table some time. No sooner was he
seated than he turned to Aunt to apologize for his delay; and, being
very much heated, and very much embarrassed, he tugged away desperately
at his pocket, and finally succeeded in extracting a huge blue stocking,
evidently of home-manufacture, with which he proceeded to wipe his
forehead very energetically and very conspicuously. I suppose the truth
was that the poor man's handkerchiefs were "on a strike," and thrust
forward this homespun stocking to bring him to terms."

School-girl, No. 2, _loq._--"My last term at F., I was expecting a box
of 'goodies' from home. So when the message came, 'An express-package
for you, Miss Fanny!' I invited all my specials to come and assist at
the opening. Instead of the expected box, there appeared a
misshapen-bundle, done up in yellow wrapping-paper. Four such
dejected-looking damsels were never seen before as we, standing around
the ugly old thing. Finally, Alice suggested,--

"'Open it!'

"'Oh, I know what it is,' I said; 'it is my old Thibet, that mother has
had made over for me.'

"'Let's see,' persisted Alice.

"So I opened the package. The first thing I drew out was too much for
me.

"'What a funny-looking basque!' exclaimed Alice. All the rest were
struck dumb with disappointment.

"No! not a basque at all, but a man's black satin waistcoat! and next
came objects about which there could be no doubt,--a pair of dingy old
trousers, and a swallow-tailed coat! Imagine the chorus of damsels!

"The secret was, that two packages lay in father's office,--one for me,
the other for those everlasting freedmen. John was to forward mine. He
had taken up the box to write my address on it, when the yellow bundle
tumbled off the desk at his feet and scared the wits out of his head.
So I came in for father's secondhand clothes, and the Ethiopians had the
'goodies'!"

Repentant Dominie _loq._--"I don't approve of it at all; but then, if
you must write the wicked thing, I heard a good story for you to-day.
Dr. ---- found himself in the pulpit of a Dutch Reformed Church the other
Sunday. You know he is one who prides himself on his adaptation to
places and times. Just at the close of the introductory servic