the truth is not in us." It was
written on the last Sunday of September, and, after this long
outpouring of confession, longing, and weakness, the diary was not
again resumed for nearly a month. The desire expressed in its second
paragraph for the kind of spiritual refreshment which in after years
he so often enjoyed under the name of a "retreat," seems noteworthy.

"September 24, 1843.--The human heart is wicked above all things. The
enemy of man is subtle and watchful beyond conception. Instead of
being on the way of goodness, I am just finding out the wickedness of
my nature, its crookedness, its impurity, its darkness. I want deep
humility and forgetfulness of self. I am just emerging out of gross
darkness and my sight is but dim, so that my iniquities are not
wholly plain to my vision.

"At present I feel as if a week of quiet silence would be the means
of opening more deeply the still flowing fountains of divine life. I
would cut off all relations but that of my soul with the Spirit--all
others seem intrusions, worldly, frivolous. The inpouring of the
Spirit is checked by so much attention to other than divine things.
In the bustle and noisy confusion its voice is unheard.

"I feel that one of my greatest weaknesses, because it leads me to so
much sin, is my social disposition. It draws me so often into
perilous conversations, and away from silence and meditation with the
Spirit. Lately I have felt almost ready to say that good works are a
hindrance to the gate of heaven. Pride and self-approbation are so
often mixed with them. I feel that nothing has been spoken against
the vain attempt to trust in good works which my soul does not fully
accord with. This is a new, a very new experience for me."

The foregoing must be understood in the sense of good works hindering
better works. Isaac Hecker felt his noblest aspirations to be, for
the moment at any rate, towards solitude and the passive state of
prayer; and in this he was hindered by the urgency of his zeal for
the propagation of philanthropic schemes and his great joy in
communing with men whom he hoped to find like-minded with himself. The
time came when he was able to Join the two states, the inner
purifying the outer man and directing his energies by the instinct of
the Holy Spirit. This entry goes on as follows:

"By practice of our aspirations, ideals, and visions, we convert them
into real being.

"We should be able to say, 'Which of you convinceth