ank goodness, no; it's all about my back an' my inches."

"Divil a thing it is but a complaint they call an _alloverness_ ails
you, you shkaimer o' the world wide. 'Tis the oil o' the hazel, or a
rubbin' down wid an oak towel you want. Get up, I say, or, by this an'
by that, I'll flail you widin an inch o' your life."

"Is it beside yourself you are, Condy?"

"No, no, faix; I've found you out: Ellish is afther tellin' me that it
was a smotherin' on the heart; but it's a pain in the small o' the back
wid yourself. Oh, you born desaver! Get up, I say agin, afore I take the
stick to you!"

"Why, thin, all sorts o' fortune to you, Condy--ha, ha, ha!--but you're
the sarra's pet, for there's no escapin' you. What was that I hard
atween you an' Ellish?" said Peter, getting up.

"The sarra matther to you. If you behave yourself, we may let you into
the wrong side o' the sacret afore you die. Go an' get us a pint of what
you know," replied Condy, as he and Peter entered the kitchen.

"Ellish," said Peter, "I suppose we must give it to thim. Give it--give
it, avourneen. Now, Condy, whin 'ill you pay me for this?"

"Never fret yourself about that; you'll be ped. Honor bright, as the
black said whin he stole the boots."

"Now Pettier," said the wife, "sure it's no use axin' me to give it,
afther the promise I made last night. Give it yourself; for me, I'll
have no hand in such things good or bad. I hope we'll soon get out of it
altogether, for myselfs sick an' sore of it, dear knows!"

Pettier accordingly furnished them with the liquor, and got a promise
that Condy would certainly pay him at mass on the following Sunday,
which was only three days distant. The fun of the boys was exuberant
at Condy's success: they drank, and laughed, and sang, until pint after
pint followed in rapid succession.

Every additional inroad upon the keg brought a fresh groan from Ellish;
and even Peter himself began to look blank as their potations deepened.
When the night was far advanced they departed, after having first
overwhelmed Ellish with professions of the warmest friendship, promising
that in future she exclusively should reap whatever benefit was to be
derived from their patronage.

In the meantime, Condy forgot to perform his promise. The next Sunday
passed, but Peter was not paid, nor was his clever debtor seen at mass,
or in the vicinity of the shebeen-house, for many a month afterwards--an
instance of ingratitude which mortifie