er Millington. You will now have a
chance to earn your own bread.

Swipes. Ay, ay, or the sweat of your brow, as better people are obliged
to. You would make a fine brewer's boy, if you were not too old.

Cur. Ay, or a saddler's lackey, if held with a tight rein.

Frank. Gentlemen, your remarks imply that my aunt has treated me as I
deserved. I am above your insults, and only hope you will bear your
fortune as modestly as I shall mine submissively. I shall retire. [Going:
He meets SQUIRE DRAWL.]

Squire. Stop, stop, young man. We must have your presence. Good morning,
gentlemen; you are early on the ground.

Cur. I hope the Squire is well to-day.

Squire. Pretty comfortable, for an invalid.

Swipes. I trust the damp air has not affected your lungs again.

Squire. No, I believe not. But, since the heirs at law are all convened, I
shall now proceed to open the last will and testament of your deceased
relative, according to law.

Swipes. [While the SQUIRE is breaking the seal,] It is a trying thing to
leave all one's possessions, Squire; in this manner.

Cur. It really makes me feel melancholy when I look around and see
everything but the venerable owner of these goods. Well did the Preacher
say, "All is vanity."

Squire. Please to be seated, gentlemen. [He puts on his spectacles and
begins to read slowly.] "Imprirmis; whereas, my nephew, Francis
Millington, by his disobedience and ungrateful conduct, has shown himself
unworthy of my bounty, and incapable of managing my large estate, I do
hereby give and bequeath all my houses, farms, stocks, bonds, moneys, and
property, both personal and real, to my dear cousins, Samuel Swipes, of
Malt Street, brewer, and Christopher Currie, of Fly Court, saddler." [The
SQUIRE here takes off his spectacles, and begins to wipe them very
leisurely.]

Swipes. Generous creature! kind soul! I always loved her!

Cur. She was good, she was kind;--and, brother Swipes, when we divide, I
think I'll take the mansion house.

Swipes. Not so fast, if you please, Mr. Currie. My wife has long had her
eye upon that, and must have it.

Cur. There will be two words to that bargain, Mr. Swipes. And, besides, I
ought to have the first choice. Did I not lend her a new chaise every time
she wished to ride? And who knows what influence--

Swipes. Am I not named first in her will? and did I not furnish her with
my best small beer for more than six months? And who knows--

Frank. Gentlemen, I