op talking for a minute. It's quite an
easy, pleasant job. You will enjoy it. Have you ever heard of Market
Snodsbury Grammar School?"

"Never."

"It's a grammar school at Market Snodsbury."

I told her a little frigidly that I had divined as much.

"Well, how was I to know that a man with a mind like yours would grasp it
so quickly?" she protested. "All right, then. Market Snodsbury Grammar
School is, as you have guessed, the grammar school at Market Snodsbury.
I'm one of the governors."

"You mean one of the governesses."

"I don't mean one of the governesses. Listen, ass. There was a board of
governors at Eton, wasn't there? Very well. So there is at Market
Snodsbury Grammar School, and I'm a member of it. And they left the
arrangements for the summer prize-giving to me. This prize-giving takes
place on the last--or thirty-first--day of this month. Have you got that
clear?"

I took another oz. of the life-saving and inclined my head. Even after a
Pongo Twistleton birthday party, I was capable of grasping simple facts
like these.

"I follow you, yes. I see the point you are trying to make, certainly.
Market ... Snodsbury ... Grammar School ... Board of governors ...
Prize-giving.... Quite. But what's it got to do with me?"

"You're going to give away the prizes."

I goggled. Her words did not appear to make sense. They seemed the mere
aimless vapouring of an aunt who has been sitting out in the sun without
a hat.

"Me?"

"You."

I goggled again.

"You don't mean me?"

"I mean you in person."

I goggled a third time.

"You're pulling my leg."

"I am not pulling your leg. Nothing would induce me to touch your beastly
leg. The vicar was to have officiated, but when I got home I found a
letter from him saying that he had strained a fetlock and must scratch
his nomination. You can imagine the state I was in. I telephoned all over
the place. Nobody would take it on. And then suddenly I thought of you."

I decided to check all this rot at the outset. Nobody is more eager to
oblige deserving aunts than Bertram Wooster, but there are limits, and
sharply defined limits, at that.

"So you think I'm going to strew prizes at this bally Dotheboys Hall of
yours?"

"I do."

"And make a speech?"

"Exactly."

I laughed derisively.

"For goodness' sake, don't start gargling now. This is serious."

"I was laughing."

"Oh, were you? Well, I'm glad to see you taking it in this merry spirit."

"Deri