uggle on the Rhine--something that shall be different from
any other account.--Down on Long Island, I shall be out of the reach of
either French or Prussian influence, and will be able to describe events
as they should be. I have made arrangements with the "Veteran Observer"
of the _Times_ to take charge of this column during my absence. If he
can only curb his natural tendency toward frivolity and jocoseness, I am
in hopes that he will be able to draw his salary as promptly and
efficiently as though he were a younger man. Remarking, therefore, in
the words of _Kathleen Mavourneen_, that my absence "may be four weeks,
and it may be longer," I bid my readers a warm (thermometer one hundred
and five degrees) farewell.

MATADOR.

* * * * *

JUPITER BELLICOSUS.

Truly, PUNCHINELLO, this is an age of progress. Wars of succession
are no more. Absolutism must forever hang its head. Fling a glance at
France; peer into Prussia, _Vox populi_ is the voice of the King, and
the voice of the king is therefore _vox Dei_. When a king speaks for his
people he must speak sooth; what he says of other peoples must be taken
with a grain of salt. Bearing this in mind, the apparent inconsistency
between the regal rigmarole and the Imperial improvisation (these
epithets are a tribute to the Republic) which I have received by our
_special wire_ from Europe were addressed by the monarchs to their
respective armies before the grand "wiring in" which is to follow.

WILHELM KOENIG VON PRUSSEN.

_Soldaten_: The Gaul is at our gates. _Vaterland_ is in danger: my
_weiss_ is then for war. France, led by a despot, is about to desecrate
the Rhine. His imperial bees are swarming, but we shall send him back
with his bees in his bonnet, and a bee's mark (BISMARCK) on the end of
his nasal organ. France wars for conquest; Prussia never. When FREDERICK
the Great captured Silesia from a Roman without any apparent pretext,
was he not an instrument of Providence? When, in company with Austria,
we beat and bullied Denmark out of Schleswig-Holstein, were we not
victorious, and is not that sufficient justification? When we afterwards
beat this Austria, did it not serve her right? And when we absorbed
Hanover, &c., was it not to protect them? Yes, our present object is the
defence of our country and the capture of Alsace and Lorraine, which
mere politeness prevented us from claiming hitherto. On, then, soldiers
of Deutchland.