ssing-table and made believe
to rub up the silver, and I couldn't keep myself in, and I asked her if
she'd rather I... didn't get married. "No, Ellen," she said--that was her
voice, madam, like I'm giving you--"No, Ellen, not for the wide world!"
But while she said it, madam--I was looking in her glass; of course, she
didn't know I could see her--she put her little hand on her heart just
like her dear mother used to, and lifted her eyes... Oh, madam!

When Harry came I had his letters all ready, and the ring and a ducky
little brooch he'd given me--a silver bird it was, with a chain in
its beak, and on the end of the chain a heart with a dagger. Quite
the thing! I opened the door to him. I never gave him time for a word.
"There you are," I said. "Take them all back," I said, "it's all over.
I'm not going to marry you," I said, "I can't leave my lady." White! he
turned as white as a woman. I had to slam the door, and there I
stood, all of a tremble, till I knew he had gone. When I opened the
door--believe me or not, madam--that man was gone! I ran out into the
road just as I was, in my apron and my house-shoes, and there I stayed
in the middle of the road... staring. People must have laughed if they
saw me...

... Goodness gracious!--What's that? It's the clock striking! And here
I've been keeping you awake. Oh, madam, you ought to have stopped
me... Can I tuck in your feet? I always tuck in my lady's feet, every
night, just the same. And she says, "Good night, Ellen. Sleep sound and
wake early!" I don't know what I should do if she didn't say that, now.

... Oh dear, I sometimes think... whatever should I do if anything were
to... But, there, thinking's no good to any one--is it, madam? Thinking
won't help. Not that I do it often. And if ever I do I pull myself up
sharp, "Now, then, Ellen. At it again--you silly girl! If you can't find
anything better to do than to start thinking!... "

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