_And this is
the day for it!_" So saying, the humorous fellow made as if to whip the
horses down the cliff, and the terrified tourist shrieked aloud. "Seeing
I've such a nervous passenger," said the driver, with a guffaw, "I had
better break my own rules, and keep to the main road."

THE CONVERTED DRUMMER.

A dilapidated Scot, with a strong odour of the accursed, staggered into
a Salvation Army meeting one night, and was deeply impressed by the
service. He became a changed man, professed conversion, and got a
thorough moral overhaul. Like many others, he had great difficulty in
keeping his good resolutions, but persevered, nobly and successfully.
Latterly, he was admitted into the orchestra, and got command of the big
drum. He was so anxious to show his zeal, that he beat far too
vehemently, and drowned all the other instruments in his ecstatic
rataplan. The captain mildly remonstrated with him, and requested him to
beat a little more gently. "_Gently!_" shouted the reformed drummer,
"that's impossible. Since I've got salvation, I feel so happy, that I
could ding the whole slammed thing to bits!" (or rather "slim the whole
danged thing to bits").

A CIRCULAR TICKET.

Three commercials, travelling from Cork to Dublin, had a discussion on
the illiteracy of the Irish railway employes. "Look here," said one of
them, "the majority of the ticket collectors can't even _read_ the
tickets they are supposed to check." The other two refused to believe
him, but he stoutly maintained his assertion. Taking out of his pocket
the round ticket given him at the office of the Cork hotel, and
containing the number of his bedroom, he said, "I intend to offer this,
instead of my railway ticket, at the first station where tickets are
punched." Shortly thereafter, the train stopped, and a porter came round
the carriages to look at the tickets. There was silence deep as death
when the commercial handed his bedroom ticket to the official. The
latter looked long and carefully at the thing and muttered, "Bejabbers,
I never saw one like that before!" "Don't keep the train waiting," said
the commercial, in a pretended fury, "don't you see it's a _circular
ticket_." "Oh, and in faith it's you that's right: it _is_ a circular
ticket," said the porter. So saying, he punched the hotel check and
withdrew, leaving the three travellers to weep for joy all the way to
Dublin.

A COMPOUND POSSESSIVE.

The following grammatical story will doubtle