should
yet more extensively serve Him in this work, which he is quite willing
to do.

Up to this day, January 25, 1851, I have not spoken to one human being
about it. As yet even my dear wife knows not about it. I purpose to keep
the matter still for some time entirely to myself, dealing with God
alone about it, in order that no outward excitement may be in the least
degree a stimulus to me. I still pray to be kept from mistake and
delusion in this thing, not that I think I am mistaken or deluded, quite
the reverse; but yet I would distrust myself and cling to God, to be
kept from mistakes and delusions.

January 31st. For several weeks past I have had no doubt that the Lord
would have me to serve Him in the erection and fitting up of another
Orphan-House for seven hundred Orphans, and I am quite decided on doing
so, with His help, and I am now quiet about it, not because I have the
least misgiving in my own mind, but because I know that it is most
suitable that I should still for some time continue to deal quietly with
God alone about it.

March 5th. Nearly five weeks have passed away since I wrote the last
paragraph, and my mind has not been once, during this time, even for a
moment, in uncertainty as to what I ought to do. It is now about fifteen
weeks since I have been especially praying about this subject, and three
months since. I began first to write on the subject in my journal, and
about ten weeks since I have had any doubt as to what is the will of the
Lord concerning this service. I believe that, altogether unworthy though
I am of this great honour, He will condescend to use me further and more
extensively than before in caring for destitute children who are
bereaved of both parents. And this I purpose to do.

April 5th. Another month has passed away, and my mind is just in the
same state as it was when I wrote in my journal on the subject on March
5th.

May 5th. One more month has passed away, and still my mind remains
quietly assured that, utterly unworthy though I am to be allowed to go
forward in this work, and great though the difficulties are, which must
be overcome, yet that it is the will of God I should serve Him in this
way. It is now this day five months since I first wrote on this subject
in my journal, and longer even than that since it has been before rue,
during which time I have day by day prayed concerning this matter.

May 24th. From the time that I began to write down the exercises o