ttom.

"Oh, she larned, she larned," chuckled the elder, knocking the ashes out
of his pipe on the hearth and then treading them under his boot. "'Tis
amazin' what a deal of larnin' women have to do arter they're married."

"If they'd done it befo' thar's precious few of 'em that would ever set
foot into the estate!" retorted Betsey. "Thar ain't many men that are
worth the havin' when you git close up to 'em. Every inch of distance
betwixt 'em is an inch added to thar attractions."

"Now, I've noticed that in my own case," observed Jim Halloween sadly,
"no woman yet has ever let me come with kissin' distance--the nearer I
git, the further an' further they edges away. It's the curse of my luck,
I reckon, for it seems as if I never open my mouth to propose that I
don't put my foot in it."

"You may comfort yo'self with the thought that it runs in yo' family,"
rejoined old Adam. "'Tis a contrariness of natur for which you're not to
be held accountable. I remember yo' grandpa, that same Jacob, tellin'
me once that he never sot out to make love that his tongue didn't take a
twist unbeknownst to him, an' to his surprise, thar'd roll off 'turnips'
an' 'carrots' instid of terms of endearment. Now, with me 'twas quite
opposite, for my tongue was al'ays quicker than my heart in the matter
of courtin'. It used to go click! click! click! quite without my willin'
it whenever my eyes lit on a pretty woman."

"Ah, you were a gay young bird, but it's over now," commented Solomon.

"I ain't regrettin' it since I've lived long enough to repent of it,"
responded the ancient sinner.

"What worries me," said young Adam, pursuing his habitual train of
despondency, "is that my life is just one long repentance with naught in
it worth repentin' of. 'Tain't for lack of ch'ice I've never tasted, but
for lack of opportunity."

"Well, thar's some that even sinners can't suffer," commented his
father. "You are short of words, miller."

"I was thinkin'," replied Abel roughly, draining his glass, and rising
to his feet while he drew on his sheepskin gloves, "that when the
thought of a woman once gets into the brain it's worse than a maggot."

"The best way is to get her," retorted Solomon, "but that ain't so easy
a matter as it looks, unless you are a parson. Was thar ever a parson,
Mr. Doolittle, that couldn't get married as often as he'd take the
notion?"

"Thar may be sech, but I've never seed him an' never heard on him,"
responded old