FREE BOOKS

Author's List




PREV.   NEXT  
|<   118   119   120   121   122   123   124   125   126   127   128   129   130   131   132   133   134   135   136   137   138   139   140   141   142  
143   144   145   146   147   148   149   150   151   152   153   154   155   156   157   158   159   160   161   162   163   164   165   166   167   >>   >|  
light, effectiveness, consuming, as it strengthened, whatever had been passive or without definite purpose in her nature. Her face seemed to him more than ever to be without significance judged by a purely physical standard--more than ever he felt it to be but a delicate and sympathetic medium for the expression of some radiant quality of soul. "I did not know--I would not have believed that you could be so cruel," he protested with bitterness. "I can be anything," she answered slowly, drawing her gaze with an effort from the fire. "Most women can." The glory of the morning passed from him as suddenly as it had come, and he told himself with the uncompromising desperation of youth that for all he cared now his great play might remain forever in oblivion. Life itself appeared as empty--as futile as his ambition--so empty, indeed, that he began immediately in the elastic melancholy which comes easily at twenty-five--to plan the consoling details of an early death. When he remembered his buoyant happiness of a few hours ago it seemed to him almost ridiculous, and he experienced a curious sensation of detachment, of having drifted out of his proper and peculiar place in life. "I shall never be happy again and I am no longer the same person that I was yesterday--or even a half hour ago," he thought with a determination to be completely miserable. Yet even while the words were in his mind he found himself weighing almost instinctively the literary value of his new emotion, and to his horror the situation in which he now stood began slowly to take a dramatic form in his mental vision. The very attitude into which he had unconsciously fallen--as he paused with his face averted and his hand tightening with violence upon a book he had picked up--showed to his imagination as a bit of restrained emotional acting beyond the footlights. "Then there's nothing I can do but go straight to the devil," he declared with resolution, and at the same instant he found to his supreme self-contempt that he was wondering how the speech would sound in the mouth of an actor in his drama. "Or write another play," suggested Laura, while he started quickly and turned toward the door. "I'll never write another," he said in a voice of gloom, which he tried with all his soul to make an honest expression of his state of mind. "I wish now I hadn't written this one. I wouldn't if I'd known." "Then it's just as well that you didn't," she retur
PREV.   NEXT  
|<   118   119   120   121   122   123   124   125   126   127   128   129   130   131   132   133   134   135   136   137   138   139   140   141   142  
143   144   145   146   147   148   149   150   151   152   153   154   155   156   157   158   159   160   161   162   163   164   165   166   167   >>   >|  



Top keywords:

expression

 

slowly

 
thought
 
violence
 

imagination

 
tightening
 

showed

 
averted
 
picked
 

miserable


completely
 
determination
 

literary

 

instinctively

 
restrained
 

emotion

 
horror
 

situation

 

dramatic

 

weighing


attitude

 

unconsciously

 

fallen

 

vision

 

mental

 

paused

 

wondering

 

honest

 
turned
 

quickly


written

 
wouldn
 

started

 

straight

 

declared

 

resolution

 

acting

 

footlights

 

instant

 

supreme


suggested

 

speech

 

contempt

 

emotional

 

bitterness

 
answered
 
drawing
 

protested

 

believed

 

effort