e. Thats why they
made him a blacksmith when he joined the army. He says hes goin to fix
it sos Ill never be bothered with it again.

I got asked to a dinner New Years night. I sat next to a Colonels wife.
It was kind of embarassing at first. I put her easy though. I says whose
that funny lookin old bird sittin across the room with a head like an
egg. Hes very chic isnt he? (Thats a French joke Mable.) She says "Thats
my husband." As soon as Id stopped laffin I started right in an told her
the history of every man in the company beginnin with the As. You know
me when I get started. I didnt give her no chanst to get embarassed.
When she started to say somethin I just kept right on talkin just to
show her that bein a Colonels wife she wasnt expected to make no effort.

I made good, Mable. I guess you kno I would. After dinner I heard her
ask somebody who invited me. Then she said somethin like "Hed ought to
be known better." Never miss a chance. Thats me all over. It may mean
promoshun or anything. It may be that shell have me sent to Fort Silly
to learn somethin. You cant tell.

[Illustration: "I SAT NEXT TO A COLONELS WIFE"]

I cant think of anything more that you would understand. Dont show these
letters to kno one. There is to many spize around. I suppose you are
awful lonesome without me. I dont get much time to be lonesome what with
drillin an goin out somewhere. As soon as things get shook down a bit I
hope to get more time to miss you. Hows your fathers liver?

Au Riviere,
_Bill_.

_Mon Ami:_

Sounds like a scourin pouder, doesnt it, Mable? As a matter of fact its
the way a French lady talks to a fello shes awful fond of.

Im not an officer any more. I was just goin to resine anyways. The
Captins been watchin me rise an he didnt like it. He knew I knew more
than him as well as me. Always askin me questions. Id always tell him
cause I knew he had a wife and children in Jersey City an so I was sorry
for them. Soft. Thats me all over. But the other day when I was on guard
he says, "Corperal, whats the General orders?" an I says, "Captin if you
dont kno them now you never will and I wouldnt be doin no service to my
country if I told you." Cold but civil, Mable. You kno how I can be.

The Captin just felt cheap an walked away. I kind of felt sorry for him.
Almost told him so once or twice. Then I went on guard again. I go on
guard a lot. The men like me to be corperal of the guard because w