tter what you say, just so you say something. You can call me quack,
you may call me fakir, you may call me charlatan--but be sure to call me
SOMETHING! Then slowly the news will spread abroad that Pain is
banished, and I can smile in peace, knowing that my vast expenditures of
time and money have not been in vain, and that I have been a benefit to
humanity. Wizard Walker, the Medical Marvel of Modern Times, will now
attend to the distribution, after which I will pull a few teeth gratis
in order to demonstrate to you the wonderful merits of Oxodyne."

"A dentist!" gasped Bob.

"Yup," said Baker. "Not much gasoline-torch-on-the-back-lot in his, is
there?"

Bob was hardly surprised, after much preamble and heightening of
suspense, to find that the Two Silver Dollars turned out finally to be a
pink ticket and a blue ticket, "good respectively at the luxurious
offices for one dollar's worth of dental and medical attention FREE."

Nor was he more than slightly astounded when the back drop rose to show
the stage set glitteringly with nickel-mounted dentist chairs and their
appurtenances, with shining glass, white linen, and with a chorus of
fascinating damsels dressed as trained nurses and standing rigidly at
attention. Then entered Painless himself, in snowy shirt-sleeves and
serious professional preoccupation. Volunteers came up two by two.
Painless explained obscurely the scientific principles on which the
marvelous Oxodyne worked--by severing temporarily but entirely all
communication between the nerves and the brain. Then much business with
a very glittering syringe.

"My lord," chuckled Baker, "if he fills that thing up, it'll drown
her!"

In an impressive silence Painless flourished the forceps, planted
himself square in front of his patient, heaved a moment, and
triumphantly held up in full view an undoubted tooth. The trained nurses
offered rinses. After a moment the patient, a roughly dressed country
woman, arose to her feet. She was smiling broadly, and said something,
which the audience could not hear. Painless smiled indulgently.

"Speak up so they can all hear you," he encouraged her.

"Never hurt a bit," the woman stammered.

Three more operations were conducted as expeditiously and as
successfully. The audience was evidently impressed.

"How does he do it?" whispered Bob.

"Cappers," explained Baker briefly. "He only fakes pulling a tooth.
Watch him next time and you'll see that he doesn't actuall