n
prejudice.

He always had something facetious to say to the people with whom he
traded. The oyster-men, the coal-men, and the women at the fruit-stalls
in his neighborhood, all knew him as a pleasant old gentleman, always
ready for a joke. One day, when he was buying some peaches, he said to
the woman, "A serious accident happened at our house last night. I
killed two robbers." "Dear me!" she exclaimed. "Were they young men, or
old convicts? Had they ever been in Sing Sing?" "I don't know about
that," replied he. "I should think they might have been by the noise
they made. But I despatched them before they had stolen much. The walls
are quite bloody." "Has a Coroner's inquest been called?" inquired the
woman. When he answered, "No," she lifted her hands in astonishment, and
exclaimed, "Well now, I do declare! If anybody else had done it, there
would have been a great fuss made about it; but you are a privileged
man, Mr. Hopper." When he was about to walk away, he turned round and
said, "I did not mention to thee that the robbers I killed were two
mosquitoes." The woman had a good laugh, and he came home as pleased as
a boy, to think how completely his serious manner had deceived her.

One day he went to a hosiery store, and said to the man, "I bought a
pair of stockings here yesterday. They looked very nice; but when I got
home, I found two large holes in them; and I have come for another pair.
The man summoned his wife, and informed her of what the gentleman had
said.

"Bless me! Is it possible, sir?" she exclaimed.

"Yes," replied Friend Hopper, I found they had holes as large as my
hand."

"It is very strange," rejoined she; "for I am sure they were new. But if
you have brought them back, of course we will change them."

"O," said he, "upon examination, I concluded that the big holes were
made to put the feet in; and I liked the stockings so well, that I have
come to buy another pair."

At another time, he entered a crockery shop, where a young girl was
tending. He made up a very sorrowful face, and in whining tones, told
her that he was in trouble and needed help. She asked him to wait till
the gentleman came; but he continued to beseech that she would take
compassion on him. The girl began to be frightened by his importunity,
and looked anxiously toward the door. At last, the man of the shop came
in; and Friend Hopper said, "This young woman thinks she cannot help me
out of my trouble; but I think she ca