g, my lord; I was only saying I was quite sure your lordship
would tell the jury exactly what I was saying."

"Go on, Mr. Hawkins--"

Then he turned to his clerk and said,--

"I shall catch him one of these days. Confine yourself to the issue,
Mr. Hawkins."

"If your lordship pleases," said I, and went on.

The eccentricities of Judges would form a laughable chapter. Some of
them were overwhelmed with the importance of their position; none were
ever modest enough to perceive their own small individuality amidst
their judicial environments; and this thought reminds me of an
occurrence at Liverpool Assizes, when Huddlestone and Manisty, the two
Judges on circuit, dined as usual with the Lord Mayor. The Queen's
health was proposed, of course, and Manisty, with his innate good
breeding, stood up to drink it, whereupon his august brother Judge
pulled him violently by his sleeve, saying, "Sit down, Manisty, you
damned fool! _we_ are the Queen!"

I was addressing a jury for the plaintiff in a breach of promise
case, and as the defendant had not appeared in the witness-box, I
inadvertently called attention to an elderly well-dressed gentleman
in blue frock-coat and brass buttons--a man, apparently, of good
position. The jury looked at him and then at one another as I said
how shameful it was for a gentleman to brazen it out in the way the
defendant did--ashamed to go into the witness-box, but not ashamed to
sit in court.

Here the gentleman rose in a great rage amidst the laughter of the
audience, in which even the ushers and javelin-men joined, to say
nothing of the Judge himself, and shouted with angry vociferation,--

"Mr. Hawkins, I am _not_ the defendant in this case, Sir ----"

"I am very sorry for you," I replied; "but no one said you were."

There was another outburst, and the poor gentleman gesticulated, if
possible, more vehemently than before.

"I am not the def--"

"Nobody would have supposed you were, sir, if you had not taken so
much trouble to deny it. The jury, however, will now judge of it."

"I am a married man, sir."

"So much the worse," said I.

CHAPTER XXVII.

MY CANDIDATURE FOR BARNSTAPLE.

Although the House of Commons dislikes lawyers, constituencies love
them. The enterprising patriots of the long robe are everywhere sought
after, provided they possess, with all their other qualifications, the
one thing needful, and possessing which, all others may be dispensed
with.

B