, or more if possible, and, as Pallas Athene liveth!
we shall find ourselves at Marseilles, going aboard some boat of the
Messageries. I can't believe yet that this is true. Come, we will have a
supper to-night. Come out into Upper Street, and let us eat, drink, and
be merry!'
'You are beside yourself. But never mind; let us rejoice by all means.
There's every reason.'
'That poor girl! Now, at last, she'll be at ease.'
'Who?'
'Amy, of course! I'm delighted on her account. Ah! but if it had come
a long time ago, in the happy days! Then she, too, would have gone to
Greece, wouldn't she? Everything in life comes too soon or too late.
What it would have meant for her and for me! She would never have hated
me then, never. Biffen, am I base or contemptible? She thinks so. That's
how poverty has served me. If you had seen her, how she looked at
me, when we met the other day, you would understand well enough why I
couldn't live with her now, not if she entreated me to. That would make
me base if you like. Gods! how ashamed I should be if I yielded to such
a temptation! And once--'
He had worked himself to such intensity of feeling that at length his
voice choked and tears burst from his eyes.
'Come out, and let us have a walk,' said Biffen.
On leaving the house they found themselves in a thick fog, through which
trickled drops of warm rain. Nevertheless, they pursued their purpose,
and presently were seated in one of the boxes of a small coffee-shop.
Their only companion in the place was a cab-driver, who had just
finished a meal, and was now nodding into slumber over his plate and
cup. Reardon ordered fried ham and eggs, the luxury of the poor, and
when the attendant woman was gone away to execute the order, he burst
into excited laughter.
'Here we sit, two literary men! How should we be regarded by--'
He named two or three of the successful novelists of the day.
'With what magnificent scorn they would turn from us and our squalid
feast! They have never known struggle; not they. They are public-school
men, University men, club men, society men. An income of less than three
or four hundred a year is inconceivable to them; that seems the minimum
for an educated man's support. It would be small-minded to think of them
with rancour, but, by Apollo! I know that we should change places with
them if the work we have done were justly weighed against theirs.'
'What does it matter? We are different types of intel
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