often distressed for money, in
consequence, that he sold every sort of title and public office as if
they were merchandise, and even invented a new dignity called a
Baronetcy, which anybody could buy for a thousand pounds.

These disputes with his Parliaments, and his hunting, and his drinking,
and his lying in bed--for he was a great sluggard--occupied his Sowship
pretty well. The rest of his time he chiefly passed in hugging and
slobbering his favourites. The first of these was SIR PHILIP HERBERT,
who had no knowledge whatever, except of dogs, and horses, and hunting,
but whom he soon made EARL OF MONTGOMERY. The next, and a much more
famous one, was ROBERT CARR, or KER (for it is not certain which was his
right name), who came from the Border country, and whom he soon made
VISCOUNT ROCHESTER, and afterwards, EARL OF SOMERSET. The way in which
his Sowship doted on this handsome young man, is even more odious to
think of, than the way in which the really great men of England
condescended to bow down before him. The favourite's great friend was a
certain SIR THOMAS OVERBURY, who wrote his love-letters for him, and
assisted him in the duties of his many high places, which his own
ignorance prevented him from discharging. But this same Sir Thomas
having just manhood enough to dissuade the favourite from a wicked
marriage with the beautiful Countess of Essex, who was to get a divorce
from her husband for the purpose, the said Countess, in her rage, got Sir
Thomas put into the Tower, and there poisoned him. Then the favourite
and this bad woman were publicly married by the King's pet bishop, with
as much to-do and rejoicing, as if he had been the best man, and she the
best woman, upon the face of the earth.

But, after a longer sunshine than might have been expected--of seven
years or so, that is to say--another handsome young man started up and
eclipsed the EARL OF SOMERSET. This was GEORGE VILLIERS, the youngest
son of a Leicestershire gentleman: who came to Court with all the Paris
fashions on him, and could dance as well as the best mountebank that ever
was seen. He soon danced himself into the good graces of his Sowship,
and danced the other favourite out of favour. Then, it was all at once
discovered that the Earl and Countess of Somerset had not deserved all
those great promotions and mighty rejoicings, and they were separately
tried for the murder of Sir Thomas Overbury, and for other crimes. But,
the Ki