ies."

THEOPHRASTUS

To a man who at a feast was persistently silent, he remarked, "If you
are ignorant, you are acting wisely; if you are intelligent, you are
behaving foolishly."

DEMETRIUS

It was a saying of his that to friends in prosperity we should go when
invited, but to those in misfortune unbidden.

When told that the Athenians had thrown down his statues, he answered,
"But not my character, for which they erected them."

ANTISTHENES

Some one asked him what he gained from philosophy. He replied, "The
power to converse with myself."

He advised the Athenians to pass a vote that asses were horses. When
they thought that irrational, he said, "But certainly, your generals
are not such because they have learned anything, but simply because
you have elected them!"

DIOGENES

He used to say that when in the course of his life he saw pilots, and
physicians, and philosophers, he thought man the most sensible of
animals; but when he saw interpreters of dreams, and soothsayers, and
those who paid attention to them, and those puffed up by fame or
wealth, he believed no creature was sillier than man.

Some said to him, "You are an old man. Take life easy now." He
replied, "And if I were running the long-distance race, should I when
nearing the goal slacken, and not rather exert myself?"

When he saw a child drink out of his hands, he took the cup out of his
wallet and flung it away, saying, "A child has beaten me in
simplicity."

He used to argue thus, "All things belong to the gods. The wise are
the friends of the gods. The goods of friends are common property.
Therefore all things belong to the wise."

To one who argued that _motion_ was impossible, he made no answer, but
rose and walked away.

When the Athenians urged him to be initiated into the Mysteries,
assuring him that in Hades those who were initiated have the front
seats, he replied, "It is ludicrous, if Agesilaus and Epaminondas are
to abide in the mud, and some ignoble wretches who are initiated are
to dwell in the Isles of the Blest!"

Plato made the definition "Man is a two-footed featherless animal,"
and was much praised for it. Diogenes plucked a fowl and brought it
into his school, saying "This is Plato's man!" So the addition was
made to the definition, "with broad nails."

When a man asked him what was the proper hour for lunch, he said, "If
you are rich, when you please; if you are poor, when you can get it."

He used