e, 'Brethren, I thank the Lord
that during the past year I have grown more charitable toward my
fellow men.' And to save our lives we couldn't help laughin' at that,
for if there was anything Uncle Jerry didn't need it was more charity.
I ricollect when old man Abner Simpson died--he was a mighty mean man,
so mean that Parson Page had a heap o' trouble to preach the right
kind of a funeral sermon about him--and right after the funeral Uncle
Jerry heard some o' the neighbors talkin' about him and says he:
'Boys, ain't you ashamed to be talkin' this way about the dead? Don't
you know you mustn't say anything but good about the dead, or the
livin' either, for that matter?' And Bush Elrod says, 'Now, Uncle
Jerry, you know nobody could say anything good about old man Abner;
you couldn't yourself.' And Uncle Jerry says: 'Yes, I can. Jest give
me time, and I can think o' plenty o' good things to say about him.'
And he stood and thought and thought, and the rest o' the men laughin'
at him, and Bush Elrod says, 'You'll have to give it up, Uncle Jerry.'
But Uncle Jerry says, 'No, there never was a human bein' that
somethin' good couldn't be said about him.' And pretty soon he slapped
his side and says he: 'I've got it! He had a good appetite.' That's
why we all had to laugh when Uncle Jerry said he'd grown more
charitable toward his fellow men.

"Well, all the men folks got up and told what progress in grace they'd
made durin' the year, and I ricollect Sam Amos sayin' it was
astonishin' how many saints there was in Goshen church, but nobody
knew anything about 'em till we had an experience-meetin'. After the
experiences had all been give in we sung another hymn and had another
prayer. Then the clock struck eleven, and Parson Page said, 'We will
spend a little time in forming good resolutions for the coming year.'
And after we'd set there a while makin' our resolutions and had some
more singin' and prayin', he said, 'Brethren and sisters, let us give
the remaining minutes of the old year to silent prayer for grace that
will help us to keep the good resolutions we've made for the new year
that is so close at hand.' And we all bowed our heads feelin' mighty
solemn, everything so still you could hear the folks around you
breathin' and the old clock back o' the pulpit tickin', tickin' away
the minutes o' the old year. And we set there expectin' every minute
to hear the first stroke o' twelve.

"I ricollect Abram had rheumatism in th