Hoss Swappers."

"That's putty near next o' kin, ain't it?" was the unexpected rejoinder
of the injured Polly.

"Wa'al, scat my----!" exclaimed David, hugely amused, "if Polly Bixbee
hain't made a joke! You'll git yourself into the almanic, Polly, fust
thing you know." Sairy brought in the pie and then the pudding.

"John," said David, "if you've got a pencil an' a piece o' paper handy
I'd like to have ye take down a few of my last words 'fore we proceed to
the pie an' puddin' bus'nis. Any more 'hossredish' in that bottle?"
holding out his glass. "Hi, hi! that's enough. You take the rest on't,"
which John did, nothing loath.

David ate his pie in silence, but before he made up his mind to attack
the pudding, which was his favorite confection, he gave an audible
chuckle, which elicited Mrs. Bixbee's notice.

"What you gigglin' 'bout now?" she asked.

David laughed. "I was thinkin' of somethin' I heard up to Purse's last
night," he said as he covered his pudding with the thick cream sauce.
"Amri Shapless has ben gittin' married."

"Wa'al, I declare!" she exclaimed. "That ole shack! Who in creation
could he git to take him?"

"Lize Annis is the lucky woman," replied David with a grin.

"Wa'al, if that don't beat all!" said Mrs. Bixbee, throwing up her
hands, and even from Mrs. Cullom was drawn a "Well, I never!"

"Fact," said David, "they was married yestidy forenoon. Squire Parker
done the job. Dominie White wouldn't have nothin' to do with it!"

"Squire Parker 'd ortter be 'shamed of himself," said Mrs. Bixbee
indignantly.

"Don't you think that trew love had ought to be allowed to take its
course?" asked David with an air of sentiment.

"I think the squire 'd ortter be 'shamed of himself," she reiterated.
"S'pose them two old skinamulinks was to go an' have children?"

"Polly, you make me blush," protested her brother. "Hain't you got no
respect fer the holy institution of matrimuny?--and--at cet'ry?" he
added, wiping his whole face with his napkin.

"Much as you hev, I reckon," she retorted. "Of all the amazin' things
in this world, the amazinist to me is the kind of people that gits
married to each other in gen'ral; but this here performence beats
ev'rything holler."

"Amri give a very good reason for't," said David with an air of
conviction, and then he broke into a laugh.

"Ef you got anythin' to tell, tell it," said Mrs. Bixbee impatiently.

"Wa'al," said David, taking the last of his pudding