I found,
in its perusal, a striking instance of that vicissitude of human affairs
and friendships which you so justly describe. I read it with
astonishment, which, however, subsided in the reflection that few men
well know themselves, and therefore that for more than twenty years I
have been acting under a perfect delusion. Conscious myself of
entertaining for you a sincere, active, and invariable friendship, I
easily believed it was reciprocal. Nay, more; I flattered myself with
your esteem, and respect in a military point of view. But I find that
others, greatly my juniors in rank, have been, upon a scale of
comparison, preferred before me. Of this, perhaps, the world may also
concur with you, that I have no just reason to complain. But every
intelligent and just principle of society required, either that I should
have been previously consulted on an arrangement in which my feelings
and happiness have been so much wounded, or that I should not have been
dragged forth to public view at all, to make the comparison so
conspicuously odious.
"I revere the cause of my country far beyond all my powers of
description. I am charmed with its honorable and dignified proceedings
relatively to foreign nations, under the former and present
administrations of the supreme executive; and I shall be proud of an
honorable opportunity of sealing the truth of these opinions with my
blood. It will be to me a malignant shaft of fate, indeed, if I am to be
excluded from active service by a constant sense of public insult and
injury.
"It would be absurd in me," he said, "to complain of an arrangement
already made, with any view to a change." He then took a general survey
of the whole matter, in an expostulary tone; expressed his belief that
there had been some "management," of which Washington was not apprized;
and that, if there should be an invasion of the South, Mr. Pinckney
might submit to the arrangement for a time. "But, if no such pressure
should exist," he continued, "I have mistaken his character greatly if
he will accept." After many remarks respecting the probable course of
events in connection with the French, he said:--
"If such a train of events should occur (and events infinitely less
probable have occurred in thick succession for the last seven
years), all the military energy of America will be required. Then
an opportunity may be afforded in which a better value may be set
upon my services than
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