it, anyway?"

"It's a baby," says I. "Quite a young one. Now go laugh your fat head
off, you human hyena."

With that shot I dashes through the traffic and catches a downtown car,
leavin' him there with his silly face unhinged. And I did no more
announcin' to anybody. I was through advertisin'. When some of the
commuters on the eight-three heard the news and started springin' their
comic tricks on me, I pretended I didn't understand.

I don't know what they thought. I didn't give a whoop, either. I wasn't
demandin' that anybody should pass solemn resolutions thankin' me for
what I'd done for my country, or stand with their hats off as I went by.
But I was overstocked on this joke-book junk.

Maybe I didn't look like a father, or act like one; but I was doin' my
best on the short notice I'd had.

I will say for Vee that she stood by me noble. She seemed to think
whatever I did was all right, even when I shied at holdin' the youngster
for the first time.

"I'm afraid I'll bend him in the wrong place," I protests.

"Goose!" says she. "Of course you won't."

"Suppose I should drop him?" says I.

"You can't if you take him just as I show you," she goes on patient.
"Now, sit down in that chair. Crook your left arm like this. Now hold
your knees together, and we'll just put the little precious right in
your---- There! Why, you're doing it splendidly."

"Am I?" says I.

I might have believed her if I hadn't caught a glimpse of myself in the
glass. Say, I was sittin' there as easy and graceful as if I'd been made
of structural iron and reinforced concrete. Stiff! Them stone lions in
front of the Public Lib'ry was frolicsome lambs compared to me. And I
was wearin' the same happy look on my face as if I was havin' a tooth
plugged.

Course that had to be just the time when Mr. Robert Ellins happened in
for his first private view. Mrs. Robert had towed him down special. He's
a reg'lar friend, though, Mr. Robert is. I can't say how much of a
struggle he had to keep his face straight, but after the first spasm has
worn off he don't show any more signs of wantin' to cackle. And he don't
pull any end-man stuff.

"Well, well, Torchy!" says he. "A son and heir, eh? I salute you."

"Same to you and many of 'em," says I, grinnin' simple.

It was the first thing that came into my head, but I guess I'd better
not have let it out. Mrs. Robert pinks up, Vee snickers, and they both
hurries into the next room.

"Thank you, T