' chance now and then before; but I
was only kiddin' myself. Believe me, this gettin' married act is the big
plunge. Uh-huh! Specially when it's done offhand and casual, the way we
went at it.

My first jolt is handed me early in the mornin' as we piles off the
mountain express at this little flag stop up in Vermont, and a roly-poly
gent in a horse-blanket ulster and a coonskin cap with a badge on it
steps up and greets me cheerful.

"Ottasumpsit Inn?" says he.

"Why, I expect so," says I, "if that's the way you call it.
Otto--Otta--Yep, that listens something like it."

You see, Mr. Robert had said it only once, when he handed me the
tickets, and I hadn't paid much attention.

"Aye gorry!" says the chirky gent, gatherin' up our hand luggage. "Guess
you're the ones we're lookin' for. Got yer trunk-checks handy?"

With that I starts fishin' through my pockets panicky. I finds a
railroad folder, our marriage certificate, the keys to the studio
apartment I'd hired, the box the ring came in, and----

"Gosh!" says I, sighin' relieved. "Sure I got it."

The driver grins good-natured and stows us into a two-seated sleigh, and
off we're whirled, bells jinglin', for half a mile or so through the
stinging mornin' air. Next thing I know, I'm bein' towed up to a desk
and a hotel register is shoved at me. Just like an old-timer, I dashes
off my name--Richard T. Ballard.

The mild-eyed gent with the close-cropped Vandyke and the gold-rimmed
glasses glances over at Vee.

"Ah--er--I thought Mrs. Ballard was with you!" says he.

"That's so; she is," says I, grabbin' the pen again and tackin' "Mr. and
Mrs." in front of my autograph.

That's why, while we're fixin' up a bit before goin' down to breakfast,
I has this little confidential confab with Vee.

"It's no use, Vee," says I. "I'm a rank amateur. We might just as well
have rice and confetti all over us. I've made two breaks already, and
I'm liable to make more. We can't bluff 'em."

"Who wants to?" says Vee. "I'm not ashamed of being on my honeymoon; are
you?"

"Good girl!" says I. "You bet I ain't. I thought the usual line, though,
was to pretend you'd----"

"I know," says Vee. "And I always thought that was perfectly silly.
Besides, I don't believe we could fool anyone if we tried. It's much
simpler not to bother. Let them guess."

"And grin too, eh?" says I. "We'll grin back."

Say, that's the happy hunch. Leaves you with nothing to worry about. All
you got