how it has already afforded you
pleasure to look up to heaven when the clouds separated themselves, and
you said, 'see how bright it will be! how beautiful the heaven is!' and
your blue eyes beamed with joy and peace, because it was so. Believe me,
Eva, the good time will come again, in which you will thus look up to
heaven, and feel thus joyful, and thus gay!"

"Never!" exclaimed Eva, weeping; "oh, never will that time return! Then
I was innocent, and from that cause I saw heaven above me clear;--now so
much that is bad, so much that is impure has stained my soul--stains it
yet!--Oh, Leonore, if you only knew all that I have felt for some time
you would never love me again! Would you believe it that Louise's
innocent happiness has infused bitterness into my soul; that the gaiety
which has again began to exist in the family has made me feel
bitterness--bitterness towards my own family--my own beloved ones! Oh, I
could detest myself! I have chastised myself with the severest words--I
have prayed with bitter tears, and yet----"

"Dear Eva, you must have patience with yourself," said Leonore, "you
will not----"

"Ah! I am already weary of myself--of my life!" hastily interrupted Eva;
"I am like some one who has already travelled far, who is already spent,
but who must still go on, and can never come to his journey's end. It
seems to me as if I should be a burden to all who belong to me; and when
I have seen you all so happy, so gay one with another, I have felt my
heart and my head burn with bitterness; then have I been obliged to go
out--out into the cold evening dew, and I have longed to repose in the
earth upon which it fell--I have longed to be able to hide myself from
every one--deep, deep in the grave below!"

"But from me," said Leonore, "you will not be able to hide yourself--nor
to go from me, since where you go there will I follow. Oh, what were
life to me if you were to leave it in despair! You would not go alone to
the grave, Eva! I would follow you there--and if you will not allow that
I sit by your side, I will seat myself on the churchyard wall, that the
same evening damps which penetrate you may penetrate me also; that the
same night wind which chills your bosom may chill mine; that I may be
laid by your side and in the same grave with you! And willingly would I
die for you, if--you will not live for me, and for the many who love you
so much! We will try all things to make you happier! God will help us;