fettered both my love and my thoughts that Ernst
grew almost jealous. How often did I steal out of bed at night in order
to watch him while he slept! He was a lively, restless child, and it
therefore was a peculiar pleasure for me to see him at rest; besides
which, he was so angelically lovely in sleep! I could have spent whole
nights bending over his cradle.

So far, Cecilia, all went with us as in the romances with which we in
our youth nourished heart and soul. But far other times came. In the
first place, the sad change in the circumstances of my parents, which
operated so severely on our position in life; and then for me so many
children--cares without end, grief and sickness! My body and mind must
both have given way under their burden, had Ernst not been the man he
is.

It suited his character to struggle against the stream; it was a sort of
pleasure to him to combat with it, to meet difficulties, and to overcome
them. With each succeeding year he imposed more business upon himself,
and by degrees, through the most resolute industry, he was enabled to
bring back prosperity to his house. And then how unwearingly kind he was
to me! How tenderly sustaining in those very moments, when without him I
must have found myself so utterly miserable! How many a sleepless night
has he passed on my account! How often has he soothed to sleep a sickly
child in his arms! And then, too, every child which came, as it were
only to multiply his cares, and increase the necessity for his labour,
was to him a delight--was received as a gift of God's mercy--and its
birth made a festival in the house. How my heart has thanked him, and
how has his strength and assurance nerved me!

When little Gabriele was born I was very near death; and it is my firm
belief that, without Ernst's care for me, I must then have parted from
my little ones. During the time of great weakness which succeeded this,
my foot scarcely ever touched the ground. I was carried by Ernst himself
wherever I would. He was unwearied in goodness and patience towards the
sick mother. Should she not now, that she is again in health, dedicate
her life to him? Ah, yes, that should she, and that will she! Alas, were
but my ability as strong as my will!

Do you know one thing, Cecilia, which often occasions me great trouble?
It is that I am not a clever housewife; that I can neither take pleasure
in all the little cares and details which the well-being of a house
really require