tay
there; up I rose from the ground, and attempted to escape; at the bottom
of the winding path which led up the acclivity I fell over something
which was lying on the ground; the something moved, and gave a kind of
whine. It was my little horse, which had made that place its lair--my
little horse, my only companion and friend, in that now awful solitude. I
reached the mouth of the dingle; the sun was just sinking in the far
west, behind me; the fields were flooded with his last gleams. How
beautiful everything looked in the last gleams of the sun! I felt
relieved for a moment; I was no longer in the horrid dingle; in another
minute the sun was gone, and a big cloud occupied the place where he had
been; in a little time it was almost as dark as it had previously been in
the open part of the dingle. My horror increased; what was I to do!--it
was of no use fighting against the horror--that I saw; the more I fought
against it, the stronger it became. What should I do? say my prayers?
Ah! why not? So I knelt down under the hedge, and said, "Our Father";
but that was of no use; and now I could no longer repress cries; the
horror was too great to be borne. What should I do: run to the nearest
town or village, and request the assistance of my fellow-men? No! that I
was ashamed to do; notwithstanding the horror was upon me, I was ashamed
to do that. I knew they would consider me a maniac if I went screaming
amongst them; and I did not wish to be considered a maniac. Moreover, I
knew that I was not a maniac for I possessed all my reasoning powers,
only the horror was upon me--the screaming horror! But how were
indifferent people to distinguish between madness and this screaming
horror? So I thought and reasoned; and at last I determined not to go
amongst my fellow-men, whatever the result might be. I went to the mouth
of the dingle, and there, placing myself on my knees, I again said the
Lord's Prayer; but it was of no use; praying seemed to have no effect
over the horror; the unutterable fear appeared rather to increase than
diminish; and I again uttered wild cries, so loud that I was apprehensive
they would be heard by some chance passenger on the neighbouring road; I,
therefore, went deeper into the dingle; I sat down with my back against a
thorn bush; the thorns entered my flesh; and when I felt them, I pressed
harder against the bush; I thought the pain of the flesh might in some
degree counteract the mental ag