Wolf
Larsen had taken to his bunk with one of his strange, splitting
headaches. Harrison stood listlessly at the wheel, half supporting
himself by it, as though wearied by the weight of his flesh. The rest of
the men were morose and silent. I came upon Kelly crouching to the lee
of the forecastle scuttle, his head on his knees, his arms about his
head, in an attitude of unutterable despondency.

Johnson I found lying full length on the forecastle head, staring at the
troubled churn of the forefoot, and I remembered with horror the
suggestion Wolf Larsen had made. It seemed likely to bear fruit. I
tried to break in on the man's morbid thoughts by calling him away, but
he smiled sadly at me and refused to obey.

Leach approached me as I returned aft.

"I want to ask a favour, Mr. Van Weyden," he said. "If it's yer luck to
ever make 'Frisco once more, will you hunt up Matt McCarthy? He's my old
man. He lives on the Hill, back of the Mayfair bakery, runnin' a
cobbler's shop that everybody knows, and you'll have no trouble. Tell
him I lived to be sorry for the trouble I brought him and the things I
done, and--and just tell him 'God bless him,' for me."

I nodded my head, but said, "We'll all win back to San Francisco, Leach,
and you'll be with me when I go to see Matt McCarthy."

"I'd like to believe you," he answered, shaking my hand, "but I can't.
Wolf Larsen 'll do for me, I know it; and all I can hope is, he'll do it
quick."

And as he left me I was aware of the same desire at my heart. Since it
was to be done, let it be done with despatch. The general gloom had
gathered me into its folds. The worst appeared inevitable; and as I
paced the deck, hour after hour, I found myself afflicted with Wolf
Larsen's repulsive ideas. What was it all about? Where was the grandeur
of life that it should permit such wanton destruction of human souls? It
was a cheap and sordid thing after all, this life, and the sooner over
the better. Over and done with! I, too, leaned upon the rail and gazed
longingly into the sea, with the certainty that sooner or later I should
be sinking down, down, through the cool green depths of its oblivion.

CHAPTER XVII

Strange to say, in spite of the general foreboding, nothing of especial
moment happened on the _Ghost_. We ran on to the north and west till we
raised the coast of Japan and picked up with the great seal herd. Coming
from no man knew where in the illimitabl