them down, told the poet that he could
now buy a _Jack the Giant Killer_ of his own.

We hear of veterans who have survived the wars of years ago, but here is
a poor old veteran of the civil war, and it is claimed the only one
living of his kind. His name is Ned, and he was captured near Washington
by a scouting party from General Jubal Early's corps. For years Ned has
taken part in the different memorial events and parades of the G.A.R.
But during a recent parade in Louisville his declining years prevented
his marching to the stirring music of the bands.

It grieved the poor old fellow's heart so that, as a compromise, his
comrades provided him with a float, upon which he mounted, and was
dragged through the streets, his kindly old head nodding to the time of
the band. As you have doubtless guessed, Ned is an old war-horse, and it
is said he has missed but one Decoration-day parade, and has reached the
ripe old age of forty years.

MOTHER (_to Albert, who came home from school looking very blue_). "Why,
you appear unhappy, Albert. Didn't you learn your lessons to-day?"

ALBERT. "Oh yes, I learned not to be sassy!"

Little Alice heard her father say that her Cousin Jack has the
small-pox, and exclaimed, "Oh, papa, I think it's real mean of Jack not
to send me any."

PAPA. "Jack, what are you crying about?"

JACK. "The conjurer at the circus to-day took five pigeons out of my
hat, and kept them for himself."

TOM. "Papa, I want a bicycle."

PAPA. "Well, Tom, and what will you furnish towards getting it?"

TOM (_thinking deeply a moment_). "I'll furnish the wind for the tires."

KEPT HIS WORD.

To the pranks played by college boys there seems to be no end, and
Professors are still suffering as much as ever from the undergraduate
trick. An amusing tale comes from Edinburgh, in this connection.

An examiner at Edinburgh University had made himself obnoxious by
warning the students against putting their hats on his desk. The
university in the Scottish capital is remarkable for a scarcity of cloak
rooms, and in the excitement of examinations hats are, or used to be,
flung down anywhere.

The examiner announced one day that if he ever found another hat on his
desk he would rip it up. The next day no hats were laid there when the
students assembled. Presently, however, the examiner was called out of
the room. Then some naughty undergraduate slipped from his seat, got the
e