my child never once seemed to cross my
mind. I had, however, sat there long--some hours before I was
discovered, and this was by the landlady.
"I had left the door open behind me, and she, in passing down, had the
curiosity to peep, and saw me sitting in what she thought to be a very
strange attitude, and could hear no sounds.
"After some time she discovered my wife was dead, and, for some time,
she thought me so, too. However, she was convinced to the contrary, and
then began to call for assistance. This awoke the child, which was
nearly famished. The landlady, to become useful, and to awaken me from
my lethargy, placed the child in my hands, telling me I was the best
person now to take care of it.
"And so I was; there was no doubt of the truth of that, and I was
compelled to acknowledge it. I felt much pride and pleasure in my
daughter, and determined she should, if I starved, have the benefit of
all I could do for her in the way of care, &c."
* * * * *
"The funeral over, I took my child and carried it to a school, where I
left her, and paid in advance, promising to do so as often as the
quarter came round. My wife I had seen buried by the hands of man, and I
swore I would do the best for my child, and to keep this oath was a work
of pleasure.
"I determined also I would never more enter a gaming-house, be the
extremity what it might; I would suffer even death before I would permit
myself to enter the house in which it took place.
"'I will,' I thought, 'obtain some employment of some kind or other. I
could surely obtain that. I have only to ask and I have it,
surely--something, however menial, that would keep me and my child. Yes,
yes--she ought, she must have her charges paid at once."
"The effect of my wife's death was a very great shock to me, and such a
one I could not forget--one I shall ever remember, and one that at least
made a lasting impression upon me."
* * * * *
"Strange, but true, I never entered a gambling-house; it was my horror
and my aversion. And yet I could obtain no employment. I took my
daughter and placed her at a boarding-school, and tried hard to obtain
bread by labour; but, do what would, none could be had; if my soul
depended upon it, I could find none. I cared not what it was--anything
that was honest.
"I was reduced low--very low; gaunt starvation showed itself in my
cheeks; but I wandered about to find em
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