, and said:
"Oh, Gyp, don't! Don't be so hard! I swear by--"
Gyp gave a little laugh, turned her back, and went on coiling at her
hair. And again that horrid feeling that he must knock his head against
something rose in Summerhay. He said helplessly:
"I only gave her tea. Why not? She's my cousin. It's nothing! Why should
you think the worst of me? She asked to see my chambers. Why not? I
couldn't refuse."
"Your EMPTY chambers? Don't, Bryan--it's pitiful! I can't bear to hear
you."
At that lash of the whip, Summerhay turned and said:
"It pleases you to think the worst, then?"
Gyp stopped the movement of her fingers and looked round at him.
"I've always told you you were perfectly free. Do you think I
haven't felt it going on for months? There comes a moment when pride
revolts--that's all. Don't lie to me, PLEASE!"
"I am not in the habit of lying." But still he did not go. That awful
feeling of encirclement, of a net round him, through which he could not
break--a net which he dimly perceived even in his resentment to have
been spun by himself, by that cursed intimacy, kept from her all to no
purpose--beset him more closely every minute. Could he not make her see
the truth, that it was only her he REALLY loved? And he said:
"Gyp, I swear to you there's nothing but one kiss, and that was not--"
A shudder went through her from head to foot; she cried out:
"Oh, please go away!"
He went up to her, put his hands on her shoulders, and said:
"It's only you I really love. I swear it! Why don't you believe me?
You must believe me. You can't be so wicked as not to. It's
foolish--foolish! Think of our life--think of our love--think of all--"
Her face was frozen; he loosened his grasp of her, and muttered: "Oh,
your pride is awful!"
"Yes, it's all I've got. Lucky for you I have it. You can go to her when
you like."
"Go to her! It's absurd--I couldn't--If you wish, I'll never see her
again."
She turned away to the glass.
"Oh, don't! What IS the use?"
Nothing is harder for one whom life has always spoiled than to find
his best and deepest feelings disbelieved in. At that moment, Summerhay
meant absolutely what he said. The girl was nothing to him! If she was
pursuing him, how could he help it? And he could not make Gyp believe
it! How awful! How truly terrible! How unjust and unreasonable of her!
And why? What had he done that she should be so unbelieving--should
think him such a shallow scou
|