y" I met a gentleman. I know
he was a gentleman because he said he was a gentleman. He had a little
light table he could move quickly. Whenever the climate became too
sultry he would move to greener pastures. On that table were three
little shells in a row, and there was a little pea under the middle
shell. I saw it there, being naturally bright. I was the only naturally
bright person around the table, hence the only one who knew under which
shell the little round pea was hidden.

Even the gentleman running the game was fooled. He thought it was under
the end shell and bet me money it was under the end shell. You see,
this was not gambling, this was a sure thing. (It was!) I had saved up
my money for weeks to attend the fair. I bet it all on that middle
shell. I felt bad. It seemed like robbing father. And he seemed like a
real nice old gentleman, and maybe he had a family to keep. But I would
teach him a lesson not to "monkey" with people like me, naturally
bright.

But I needn't have felt bad. I did not rob father. Father cleaned me
out of all I had in about five seconds.

I went over to the other side of the fairgrounds and sat down. That was
all I had to do now--just go, sit down. I couldn't see the mermaid now
or get into the grandstand.

Sadly I thought it all over, but I did not get the right answer. I said
the thing every fool does say when he gets bumped and fails to learn
the lesson from the bump. I said, "Next time I shall be more careful."

When anybody says that he is due for a return date.

I Bought the Soap

Learn? No! Within a month I was on the street a Saturday night when
another gentleman drove into town. He stopped on the public square and
stood up in his buggy. "Let the prominent citizens gather around me,
for I am going to give away dollars."

Immediately all the prominent "suckers" crowded around the buggy.
"Gentlemen, I am introducing this new medicinal soap that cures all
diseases humanity is heir to. Now just to introduce and advertise, I am
putting these cakes of Wonder Soap in my hat. You see I am wrapping a
ten-dollar bill around one cake and throwing it into the hat. Now who
will give me five dollars for the privilege of taking a cake of this
wonderful soap from my hat--any cake you want, gentlemen!"

And right on top of the pile was the cake with the ten wrapped around
it! I jumped over the rest to shove my five (two weeks' farm work) in
his hands and grab that bill cake