and done my
work with an odd feeling on me, I waited on Joe; I fixed the beds and
made my mother and aunt lie down, and then I was all alone and had time
to reflect over--over me and you. I reckon my thoughts had taken a new
turn by just one little remark of yours. Alfred, it was you asking to
come over on the--the first--the very first night after your wife left.
A girl will do a lot of headstrong things when her pity and admiration
are worked up for a man she loves, but now and then, if she's sensible,
some powerful small thing will make her think. Alfred, I saw the brink
we was standing on, as plain as if we was on a high cliff and there was
nothing between us and the bottom, and all sorts of forces was blinding
us and pulling and shoving us over. I'm a good, pure girl--no purer, in
thought or act, ever lived, and yet I've been in an inch of having a bad
character saddled on me for the rest of my life. As I looked at little
Joe asleep in his bed and remembered that I had given my word and bond
to the law to make a worthy mother to him, as I looked at them two old
women who think I'm already robed in the garb of paradise, and realized
that one mischievous word started about me and you would ruin me and all
the others--I say, when that thought come to me I wondered how I could,
in my right senses, have talked to you as I have and let you know my
feelings. I can't believe that it is wrong to--to feel as I do toward
you, because I was drawed into it by things that I couldn't avoid. You
was always trying to help me, and was so sweet and good and manly and
respectful that, knowing about your own troubles, I couldn't help
myself. Then I saw you loved--liked me, and the--the pure, hungry joy of
it--the dazzling glory of it, bound me hand and foot, and I plunged in
without thought or caution. But we are cooler now, Alfred, and we've got
to keep our heads. To begin with, you have got to let this matter with
that scamp drop. I demand it; my good name demands it; I haven't given
you the right to fight battles over me, and I don't intend to. I'd
rather let that man, repulsive as he is, kiss me a dozen times than
have to hang my head before them I love. They would take Joe from me; it
would hurry my mother to her grave; it would be a living death. See,
here's the revolver." She, forced a white smile as she slid it into the
pocket of his coat. "Dispose of it; I don't want to be reminded of
what's happened. I'm giving it to you becaus