Shakespeare instead of tiddledywinks.

Next year I shall read history, and that will be rare fun, too. In
the nine hundred hours I shall certainly be able to read all of
Fiske, Mommsen, Rhodes, Bancroft, McMaster, Channing, Bryce, Hart,
Motley, Gibbon, and von Holst not to mention American statesmen.
About the Ides of December I shall hold a levee and sit in state as
the characters of history file by. I shall be able to call them all
by name, to tell of the things they did and why they did them, and to
connect their deeds with the world as it now is. I can't conceive of
any picture-show equal to that, and all through my year with
Shakespeare I shall be looking forward eagerly to my year with the
historians. I plainly see that the neighbors will not need to bring
in any playthings to amuse and entertain me, though, of course, I
shall be grateful to them for their kindly interest. Then, the next
year I shall devote to music, and if, by practising for nine hundred
hours, I cannot acquire a good degree of facility in manipulating a
piano or a violin, I must be too dull to ever aspire to the favor of
Terpsichore. If I but measure up to my hopes during this year I
shall be saved the expense of buying my music ready-made. The next
year I shall devote to art, and by spending one entire evening with a
single artist I shall thus become acquainted with three hundred of
them. If I become intimate with this number I shall not be lonesome,
even if I do not know the others. I think I shall give an art party
at the holiday time of that year, and have three hundred people
impersonate these artists. This will afford me a good review of my
studies in art. It may diminish the gate receipts of the
picture-show for a few evenings, but I suspect the world will be able
to wag along.

Then the next year I shall study poetry, the next astronomy, and the
next botany. Thus I shall come to know the plants of earth, the
stars of heaven, and the emotions of men. That ought to ward off
ennui and afford entertainment without the aid of the saloon. In the
succeeding twelve years I shall want to acquire as many languages,
for I am eager to excel Elihu Burritt in linguistic attainments even
if I must yield to him as a disciple of Vulcan. If I can learn a
language and read the literature of that language each year, possibly
some college may be willing to grant me a degree for work _in
absentia_. If not, I shall poke along the best I can a