de one of His Majesty's judges to send me to
gaol, whilst my wife and children were left to starve. The reasoning
does not seem very clear. If I had remained a bachelor I might have
become a wretch, and I might have suffered imprisonment, but at least
my sins would not have been visited upon the innocent heads of wife and
children. And then it occurs to me that I have known bachelors to be
sent to gaol at the instance of married men who persuaded the judges to
send them there. No, no, madam, you are too deep for me! I give it
up!"

"Rubbish!" snorted the vicar's wife, "you evade the issue, which is
simple enough. Are--bachelors--selfish--or--are--they--not?"

The Cynic shook his head mournfully. "They are more to be pitied than
blamed, believe me. They are too often the sport of cruel Fate--tossed
here and there upon the wave of Circumstance--unable, alas! and not
unwilling to find safety in the Harbour of Matrimony. Their lot is
indeed a sad one. Don't call them hard names, but drop for them--and
me--the silent tear of sympathy."

"Oh, of course," broke in the vicar's wife, "I knew that dodge was sure
to be employed sooner or later. I was on the watch for it. It is the
old excuse that there is nobody to marry. The wave of Circumstance
does not toss you into the arms of some captivating nymph, and so you
remain all at sea--more ornamental, perhaps, but hardly more useful
than a cork on the ocean. If you really wanted to get into the Harbour
of Matrimony, let me tell you, you would turn about and swim there,
instead of blaming Fate for not rolling you in on the crest of a wave."

We laughed, and the Cynic said: "After all, madam, selfishness is not
confined to those who have no intention of marrying. When your good
husband took to himself the most charming of her sex he doubtless
grudged every smile that was thrown to his rivals. Altruism, as you
very sagaciously remarked a moment or two ago, is the very antithesis
of selfishness, and hence it is unpopular except as an ideal for
others. The popular altruist is he who denies himself to minister to
my selfishness. We are all selfish, with certain rare exceptions--to
be found, fortunately, within the circle of my friends."

"I am sure I am selfish," I interjected; "I wonder if that is because I
am unmarried."

"My dear," said the vicar's wife, "your case is not on all fours with
Philip's and other bachelors'. _You_ are the sport of Fate, and not
th