thing alarmingly different about me. I
learned my lesson one night. I turned on the male principle too
strongly and some of the women in the audience became very agitated.
Everyone was embarrassed. After the show the theatre manager came to
my dressing room and asked me to have a drink with him at a little bar
across the street.

When we sat down he stared at me in a queer manner. "Just exactly what
happened tonight?" he demanded.

I looked surprised. "Weren't you satisfied with the act?" I asked.
"The audience seemed to like me."

"They liked you too much."

I laughed. "You mean those silly females who tried to drag me off the
stage?"

He narrowed his eyes and thrust his face close to mine. "If I hadn't
had the best-trained ushers in New York there'd have been a panic and
a riot in there. How come?"

I shrugged. "The women in your town seem remarkably excitable."

"And in _your_ town?"

"Not so," I declared truthfully. How truthfully Your Excellency well
knows.

* * * * *

"There's something peculiar about you," he said, "something very
peculiar." He leaned back in his chair and his glance swept over me.
"Suppose you cut out the leopard skin," he said, "and wear a jersey
and trousers."

I laughed to myself. He thought my bare body, my bulging muscles had
been the cause of the trouble. What a fool! Is Your Excellency
laughing too? However, I dared not disagree with him. By that time he
had had many drinks. He was looking mean. He reached over and grabbed
the lapel of my coat in his fist.

"What the hell kind of a guy are you?" he snarled at me.

My hands twitched. I wished I could have picked him up and tied him in
a four-in-hand knot around his own neck.

"Who the hell are you?" he repeated.

I yawned and stretched and got to my feet. "Not even a strong man
now," I said casually, "just a tired man."

I left the bar.

After that incident I was careful with the male principle. When the
audience left each night I turned it on very slightly--only enough to
be sure that the women would do their best to get back to see me
again.

But before I go any further in this account of my adventures, Your
Excellency, let me tell you about the women here. The greatest
difference between the Americans and ourselves is in the women. They
are extraordinary. Some of them are beautiful beyond belief. My
researches completely confirm your much-criticized hypotheses
concerning our own