avenging he hoped
to clear himself in his own sight of his imagined share in the crime.

He felt as though the deed had been the result of his own projected
hatred, and that he himself was the real murderer. When he remembered
the appearance of the man whom he now followed, it seemed like going
in pursuit of his own self.

CHAPTER XXII

THE BLIZZARD

Now that he was nearing God's Voice, it was necessary that he should
travel more cautiously and keep a sharp lookout ahead. At any moment
he might come in sight of a Company's trapper, either sitting beneath
the trees by his camp-fire or racing down-river between the tall
banks, following his sled. He might be recognised, and recognition
would lead to his arrest. Whatever happened afterwards, he desired his
freedom for yet a little while, so he went carefully. In the course of
the night he passed by one wigwam; but the Indian was evidently away,
for no dog rose up to herald his approach. If the squaw was there, she
did not rouse; he got by unnoticed.

Hoping against hope, he argued with himself, trying to believe that
Spurling was alive. He told himself that this had been a vision sent
to him from God to turn him aside from his crime. He had gazed upon
himself as he would have become, and his soul had revolted at the
sight.

As he ran on, swearing at his huskies, urging them forward with the
lash, he offered up to God many fervid thanks for the mercy which He
had shown him, hoping that by these means, even though the calamity
had happened, he might shame his Maker by his gratitude into putting
back the hands of time, and so restoring the murdered man to life. At
last by the constant reiteration of the thing which he desired, he
began to take it for granted that his prayer was answered. Spurling
was not dead; he was alive, and he was going to ask his forgiveness
for the evil which he had thought against him.

He put together the words which he would say to him when they met, and
the gestures he would use to make his words convincing. He repeated
them over many times that he might retain them in his memory. Then
something would happen to take his attention away, one of the dogs
would be shirking or the sled would have overturned, and, when he came
back to the words which he had planned, he would be thrown into a
frenzy, finding that they had slipped his mind.

Though he was desperately in earnest over this game at which he
played, he was aware all the while