th himself and her to the principle that
ruled his life and made him what he was. His seeming resignation
steadied her, for now he waited her decision, while before he was only
bent on executing the purpose wherein he believed salvation lay. She
girded up her strength, collected her thoughts, and tried to show him
what she believed to be her duty.
"Let me tell you how it is with me, Adam, and be patient if I am not
wise and brave like you, but far too young, too ignorant to bear such
troubles well. I am not leaning on my own judgment now, but on Faith's,
and though you do not love her as I hoped, you feel she is one to trust.
She said the wife, in that fictitious case which was so real to us, the
wife should leave no effort unmade, no self-denial unexacted, till she
had fairly proved that she could not be what she had promised. Then, and
then only, had she a right to undo the tie that had bound her. I must do
this before I think of your love or my own, for on my marriage morning I
made a vow within myself that Geoffrey's happiness should be the first
duty of my life. I shall keep that vow as sacredly as I will those I
made before the world, until I find that it is utterly beyond my power,
then I will break all together."
"You have tried that once, and failed."
"No, I have never tried it as I shall now. At first, I did not know the
truth, then I was afraid to believe, and struggled blindly to forget.
Now I see clearly, I confess it, I resolve to conquer it, and I will not
yield until I have done my best. You say you must respect me. Could you
do so if I no longer respected myself? I should not, if I forgot all
Geoffrey had borne and done for me, and could not bear and do this thing
for him. I must make the effort, and make it silently; for he is very
proud with all his gentleness, and would reject the seeming sacrifice
though he would make one doubly hard for love of me. If I am to stay
with him, it spares him the bitterest pain he could suffer; if I am to
go, it gives him a few more months of happiness, and I may so prepare
him that the parting will be less hard. How others would act I cannot
tell, I only know that this seems right to me; and I must fight my fight
alone, even if I die in doing it."
She was so earnest, yet so humble; so weak in all but the desire to do
well; so young to be tormented with such fateful issues, and withal so
steadfast in the grateful yet remorseful tenderness she bore her
husband, t
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