When the decision has been made, reaction between the individual and
the external universe begins and understanding begins to flow into the
data storage banks. As data are stored, and successful solutions found
in the encounter with the world, fear diminishes. Some kind of
equilibrium is eventually reached, in which the organism decides how
much fear it is willing to tolerate to venture farther into areas of the
unknown, and how much it is willing to limit its experience because of
this fear.

"When the decision has been made, and the point of equilibrium chosen, a
personality exists. The individual has shaped himself to face the world.

"And nothing short of a Heavenly miracle will ever change that shape!"

"You have said nothing about how the crystal caused you to attempt
suicide," said Fenwick.

"The crystal invalidated the molecular tape I had chosen to provide my
foundation program for living. The tape was completely shattered,
brought to an end. There was nothing left for me to go on."

* * * * *

"Wait a minute!" said Fenwick. "Even supposing this could happen as you
describe it, other programs could be selected out of the great number
you have described."

"Quite true. But do you know what happens to an adult human being when
the program on which his entire life is patterned is destroyed?"

Fenwick shook his head. "What is it like?"

"It's like it was in the beginning, in that moment of first awareness of
the external universe. He is aware of the universe, but has no
understanding of it. Previous understanding--or what he thought was
understanding--has been invalidated, destroyed. The drive to keep
living, that was present in that first moment of awareness, has
weakened. The strongest impulse is to escape the terror that follows
awareness without understanding. Death is the quickest escape.

"This is why men are inflexible. This is why the Urbans cannot endure
the Galileos. This is why the Bill Bakers cannot face the Jim Ellerbees.
That was what Sam Atkins wanted to find out.

"If a man should decide his basic program is invalid and decide to
choose another, he would have to face again the terror of awareness of a
world in which understanding does not exist. He would have to return to
that moment of first awareness and select a new program in that moment
of overwhelming fear. Men are not willing to do this. They prefer a
program--a personality--that is defective, that f