ence--these were the chief characteristics of existence. If one
failed of strength in any way, if life were not kind in its bestowal of
gifts, if one were not born to fortune's pampering care--the rest was
misery. In the days of his strength and prosperity the spectacle of
existence had been sad enough: in the hours of threatened delay and
defeat it seemed terrible. Why, if his art failed him now, what had he?
Nothing. A little puny reputation which he could not sustain, no money,
a wife to take care of, years of possible suffering and death. The abyss
of death! When he looked into that after all of life and hope, how it
shocked him, how it hurt! Here was life and happiness and love in
health--there was death and nothingness--aeons and aeons of nothingness.

He did not immediately give up hope--immediately succumb to the
evidences of a crumbling reality. For months and months he fancied each
day that this was a temporary condition; that drugs and doctors could
heal him. There were various remedies that were advertised in the
papers, blood purifiers, nerve restorers, brain foods, which were
announced at once as specifics and cures, and while he did not think
that the ordinary patent medicine had anything of value in it, he did
imagine that some good could be had from tonics, or _the_ tonic. A
physician whom he consulted recommended rest and an excellent tonic
which he knew of. He asked whether he was subject to any wasting
disease. Eugene told him no. He confessed to an over-indulgence in the
sex-relationship, but the doctor did not believe that ordinarily this
should bring about a nervous decline. Hard work must have something to
do with it, over-anxiety. Some temperaments such as his were predisposed
at birth to nervous breakdowns; they had to guard themselves. Eugene
would have to be very careful. He should eat regularly, sleep as long as
possible, observe regular hours. A system of exercise might not be a bad
thing for him. He could get him a pair of Indian clubs or dumb-bells or
an exerciser and bring himself back to health that way.

Eugene told Angela that he believed he would try exercising and joined a
gymnasium. He took a tonic, walked with her a great deal, sought to
ignore the fact that he was nervously depressed. These things were of
practically no value, for the body had apparently been drawn a great
distance below normal and all the hell of a subnormal state had to be
endured before it could gradually come