de mazy for a
penny: wheniver aw see 'em they allus remind me ov a chap aw knew; he
stood abaat six foot two in his stockin feet, an' weighed abaat six
stooan an' a hauf; an' one day he'd been poorly a bit, soa he thowt he'd
ax a friend 'at had a donkey if he'd lend it him. 'Tha can have it an'
welcome,' th' chap said, 'but aw'm feeard thi legs is too long.' 'Oh
ne'er heed that,' he sed, 'if aw find 'em to trail aw'l hold 'em up.'
Soa he gate it, an as he wor varry leet they went on nicely for a bit,
but just as he wor comin on Charlestaan, a chap stopt him to ax him what
they called that old church, soa he dropt daan his feet on to'th floor
and began to explain an' as sooin as he'd done that, th' donkey walked
away leavin him thear striddlin like a clooas peg. As sooin as he'd
finished he sed 'gie up!' an he thowt o' sittin daan; an' he did, but it
wor soa mich lower daan wol he thowt his back wor brokken; when he luk'd
raand he saw Neddy trottin up th' Haley Hill. 'Tha's tow't me a lesson,'
he sed, 'an' for th' futur, as long as iver aw can do for misen, aw'l
niver seek onybody's ass istance.

Ther's nowt like bein independent, an mooast fowk have a chonce if
they'll nobbut 'mak hay wol th' sun shines,' an' if yo dooant mak it
then yo'll niver be able to mak it at ony other time. If yo want to mak
love, yo can mak that when th' mooin shines, but it will'nt do for hay.
Aw remember a queer tale 'at they used to tell ov a chap 'at had some
strange nooations, an' allus thowt his own way best. An' one day as some
chaps were gooin past his farm, they saw him runnin up an' daan i' th'
front o' th' lathe, wi' a empty wheelbarro, and then rush in, an' upset
it, and aght agean. 'Why,' says one, 'aw'm sure Ike must be crack'd,
whativer can he be dooin?' Soa they went to ax him. 'What's up nah Ike?'
said one, 'tha'll kill thisen if tha gooas on like that, are ta trainin
for a match or summat?' 'Yo dooant know,' sed Ike, 'but aw'l let yo into
a saycret; yo see aw'd getten all th' grass cut yesterday, an' aw
fancied it wor baan to rain, soa aw haased it just green as it wor, an'
nah aw'm wheelin sunshine in to dry it wi.' 'Well, tha'rt a bigger fooil
nor aw tuk thi for! Does ta think tha can wheel sunshine into th' lathe,
same as horse-muck?' 'Thee mind thi own business,' says Ike, 'aw should
think aw've lived long enuff to know what aw'm dooin, an' when aw want
taichin aw'll send for thee.' Soa they left him to his wheelin, but ha