out, wherever he
was, and pay the landlady, who was usually well enough disposed towards
Roger unless he had tried to win her affections by being handy about the
house, in which case there were extra charges for the plumber and an
irremovable feeling of exasperation. And she would ask him to come home
with her, and not bother about working, but just be a companion to her.
At that, however, he always slowly shook his small, mouse-coloured head.
For he was still not quite sure ... and he feared that he might become
so if he went back and lived with her. As things were, he could
interpret her prompt answer to his call as a sign of affection.
Moreover, he had his poor little pride, which was not a negligible
quality; he never would have sent to her for money if he had not felt so
sorry for his landladies. To admit that he could not earn a bare living
when his brother was making himself one of the lords of the earth would
have broken his spirit.

Knowing these things, she could not beg him over-much to come to her,
but that left dreadfully little to say in the hours they had to spend
together on these occasions. There fell increasingly moments of silence
when, unreminded by his piteousness and her obligations by the good
little pipe of her voice, she was aware of nothing but his
unpleasantness. For he was becoming more and more physically horrible.
As was natural when he lived in these mean lodgings, he was beginning
to look, if not actually dirty, at least unwashed; and there was
something else about his appearance, something tarnished and
disgraceful, which she could not understand till the landlady at
Leicester said to her: "I do think it's such a pity that a nice young
man like Mr. Peacey sometimes don't take more care of himself like he
ought to." Drunkenness seemed to her worse than anything in the world,
because it meant the surrender of dignity; she would rather have had her
son a murderer than a drunkard. She had wondered if the truth need ever
reach Richard, and there had floated before her mind's eye a newspaper
paragraph: "Roger Peacey, described as a clerk, fined forty shillings
for being drunk and disorderly and obstructing the police in the course
of their duty...." She had asked quickly, "What is he like? Does he get
violent?" The woman had answered: "Oh no, mum; just silly-like," and had
laughed, evidently at the recollection of some ridiculous scene.

Oh God, oh God! When she struggled out of her bad drea