to see for
the fifth time that week; in fact, it was rumoured that certain men
of fashion, whose habit was to refuse themselves nothing, had attended
every performance of the gigantic attraction since the second house on
Monday.

The scene represented a restaurant of quiet aspect, into which entered
a waiter bearing a pile of plates some two feet high. The waiter
being intoxicated the tower of plates leaned this way and that as he
staggered about, and the whole house really did hold its breath in the
simultaneous hope and fear of an enormous and resounding smash. Then
entered a second intoxicated waiter, also bearing a pile of plates
some two feet high, and the risk of destruction was thus more than
doubled--it was quadrupled, for each waiter, in addition to the
risks of his own inebriety, was now subject to the dreadful peril of
colliding with the other. However, there was no catastrophe.

Then arrived two customers, one in a dress suit and an eyeglass, and
the other in a large violet hat, a diamond necklace and a yellow
satin skirt. The which customers, seemingly well used to the sight of
drunken waiters tottering to and fro with towers of plates, sat down
at a table and waited calmly for attention. The popular audience, with
that quick mental grasp for which popular audiences are so renowned,
soon perceived that the table was in close proximity to a lofty
sideboard, and that on either hand of the sideboard were two chairs,
upon which the two waiters were trying to climb in order to deposit
their plates on the topmost shelf of the sideboard. The waiters
successfully mounted the chairs and successfully lifted their towers
of plates to within half an inch of the desired shelf, and then the
chairs began to show signs of insecurity. By this time the audience
was stimulated to an ecstasy of expectation, whose painfulness was
only equalled by its extreme delectability. The sole unmoved
persons in the building were the customers awaiting attention at the
restaurant table.

One tower was safely lodged on the shelf. But was it? It was not! Yes?
No! It curved; it straightened; it curved again. The excitement was as
keen as that of watching a drowning man attempt to reach the shore. It
was simply excruciating. It could not be borne any longer, and when it
could not be borne any longer the tower sprawled irrevocably and
seven dozen plates fell in a cascade on the violet hat, and so with
an inconceivable clatter to the floor.