could not speak to him a word, good or
bad, for a great while; but at last I burst out into tears, and said to
him, 'Lord! Mr. ----, what must I do?' 'Do!' says he, 'send for the
ordinary; send for a minister and talk with him; for, indeed, Mrs.
Flanders, unless you have very good friends, you are no woman for this
world.'

This was plain dealing indeed, but it was very harsh to me, at least I
thought it so. He left me in the greatest confusion imaginable, and
all that night I lay awake. And now I began to say my prayers, which I
had scarce done before since my last husband's death, or from a little
while after. And truly I may well call it saying my prayers, for I was
in such a confusion, and had such horror upon my mind, that though I
cried, and repeated several times the ordinary expression of 'Lord,
have mercy upon me!' I never brought myself to any sense of my being a
miserable sinner, as indeed I was, and of confessing my sins to God,
and begging pardon for the sake of Jesus Christ. I was overwhelmed
with the sense of my condition, being tried for my life, and being sure
to be condemned, and then I was as sure to be executed, and on this
account I cried out all night, 'Lord, what will become of me? Lord!
what shall I do? Lord! I shall be hanged! Lord, have mercy upon me!'
and the like.

My poor afflicted governess was now as much concerned as I, and a great
deal more truly penitent, though she had no prospect of being brought
to trial and sentence. Not but that she deserved it as much as I, and
so she said herself; but she had not done anything herself for many
years, other than receiving what I and others stole, and encouraging us
to steal it. But she cried, and took on like a distracted body,
wringing her hands, and crying out that she was undone, that she
believed there was a curse from heaven upon her, that she should be
damned, that she had been the destruction of all her friends, that she
had brought such a one, and such a one, and such a one to the gallows;
and there she reckoned up ten or eleven people, some of which I have
given account of, that came to untimely ends; and that now she was the
occasion of my ruin, for she had persuaded me to go on, when I would
have left off. I interrupted her there. 'No, mother, no,' said I,
'don't speak of that, for you would have had me left off when I got the
mercer's money again, and when I came home from Harwich, and I would
not hearken to you; therefor