an it is possible for me
to express, and with so much greater force of argument than I can
repeat, that I only recommend it to those who read the story, to
suppose, that as he held me above an hour and a half in that discourse,
so he answered all my objections, and fortified his discourse with all
the arguments that human wit and art could devise.

I cannot say, however, that anything he said made impression enough
upon me so as to give me any thought of the matter, till he told me at
last very plainly, that if I refused, he was sorry to add that he could
never go on with me in that station as we stood before; that though he
loved me as well as ever, and that I was as agreeable to him as ever,
yet sense of virtue had not so far forsaken him as to suffer him to lie
with a woman that his brother courted to make his wife; and if he took
his leave of me, with a denial in this affair, whatever he might do for
me in the point of support, grounded on his first engagement of
maintaining me, yet he would not have me be surprised that he was
obliged to tell me he could not allow himself to see me any more; and
that, indeed, I could not expect it of him.

I received this last part with some token of surprise and disorder, and
had much ado to avoid sinking down, for indeed I loved him to an
extravagance not easy to imagine; but he perceived my disorder. He
entreated me to consider seriously of it; assured me that it was the
only way to preserve our mutual affection; that in this station we
might love as friends, with the utmost passion, and with a love of
relation untainted, free from our just reproaches, and free from other
people's suspicions; that he should ever acknowledge his happiness
owing to me; that he would be debtor to me as long as he lived, and
would be paying that debt as long as he had breath. Thus he wrought me
up, in short, to a kind of hesitation in the matter; having the dangers
on one side represented in lively figures, and indeed, heightened by my
imagination of being turned out to the wide world a mere cast-off
whore, for it was no less, and perhaps exposed as such, with little to
provide for myself, with no friend, no acquaintance in the whole world,
out of that town, and there I could not pretend to stay. All this
terrified me to the last degree, and he took care upon all occasions to
lay it home to me in the worst colours that it could be possible to be
drawn in. On the other hand, he failed not to set