ed
to follow his master as a disciple; his protestations of eternal faith.
No, he must return; so Maung San went back with the horse, and the
prince was alone.
As he waited there alone by the river, alone in the dark waiting for the
dawn ere he could cross, alone with his own fears and thoughts, doubt
came to him again. He doubted if he had done right, whether he should
ever find the light, whether, indeed, there was any light to find, and
in his doubt and distress he asked for a sign. He desired that it might
be shown to him whether all his efforts would be in vain or not, whether
he should ever win in the struggle that was before him. We are told that
the sign came to him, and he knew that, whatever happened, in the end
all would go well, and he would find that which he sought.
So he crossed the river out of his father's kingdom into a strange
country, and he put on the garment of a recluse, and lived as they did.
He sought his bread as they did, going from house to house for the
broken victuals, which he collected in a bowl, retiring to a quiet spot
to eat.
The first time he collected this strange meal and attempted to eat, his
very soul rose against the distastefulness of the mess. He who had been
a prince, and accustomed to the very best of everything, could not at
first bring himself to eat such fare, and the struggle was bitter. But
in the end here, too, he conquered. 'Was I not aware,' he said, with
bitter indignation at his weakness, 'that when I became a recluse I must
eat such food as this? Now is the time to trample upon the appetite of
nature.' He took up his bowl, and ate with a good appetite, and the
fight had never to be fought again.
So in the fashion of those days he became a seeker after truth. Men,
then, when they desired to find holiness, to seek for that which is
better than the things of this world, had to begin their search by an
utter repudiation of all that which the world holds good. The rich and
worldly wore handsome garments, they would wear rags; those of the world
were careful of their personal appearance, they would despise it; those
of the world were cleanly, the hermits were filthy; those of the world
were decent, and had a care for outward observances, and so hermits had
no care for either decency or modesty. The world was evil, surely, and
therefore all that the world held good was surely evil too. Wisdom was
to be sought in the very opposites of the conventions of men.
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