upon my arrival
I found that Rossetti had fitted out rooms for my reception, although
I had never down to that moment finally decided to avail myself of an
offer which upon its first being broached, appeared to be too one-sided
a bargain (in which of course the sacrifice seemed to be Rossetti's) to
admit of my entertaining it. In this way I drifted into my position as
Rossetti's housemate.

The letters and scraps of notes I have embodied in the foregoing will
probably convey a better idea of Rossetti's native irresolution, as it
was made manifest to me in the early part of 1881, than any abstract
definition, however faithful and exact, could be expected to do.
Irresolution was indubitably his most noticeable quality at the time
when I came into active relation with him; and if I be allowed to have
any perception of character and any acquaintance with the fundamental
traits that distinguish man from man, I shall say unhesitatingly (though
I well know how different is the opinion of others) that irresolution
with melancholy lay at the basis of his nature. I have heard Mr.
Swinburne speak of a cheerfulness of deportment in early life, which
imparted an idea as of one who could not easily be depressed. I have
heard Mr. Watts speak of the days at Kelmscott Manor House, where
he first knew him, and where Rossetti was the most delightful of
companions. I have heard Canon Dixon speak of a determination of purpose
which yielded to no sort of obstacle, but carried its point by the sheer
vehemence with which it asserted it. I can only say that I was witness
to neither characteristic. Of traits the reverse of these, I was
constantly receiving evidence; but let it be remembered that before I
joined Rossetti (which was only in the last year of his life) in that
intimate relation which revealed to my unwilling judgment every foible
and infirmity of character, the whole nature of the man had been
vitiated by an enervating drug. At my meeting with him the brighter
side of his temperament had been worn away in the night-troubles of his
unrestful couch; and of that needful volition, which establishes for
a man the right to rule not others but himself, only the mockery and
inexplicable vagaries of temper remained. When I knew him, Rossetti was
devoid of resolution. At that moment at which he had finally summoned
up every available and imaginable reason for pursuing any particular
course, his purpose wavered and his heart gave way. When I