d of him that he sells bad
soup at a railway station, prudence is the better part of
valor. But, just examine this heterogeneous pile of
'cigar-lights,' which rears its audacious head upon the
table. Here are Palmers, Barbers, Farmers, Lord Lornes,
Tichbornes, Bryants and Moys, Bells and Blacks, Alexandres,
Bismarcks, King Williams, Napoleons, and scores of other
varieties. Some light 'only on the box,' some light
anywhere, some everywhere, and some nowhere. Some are on
wood, some on porcelain, some on glass, some on dire deeds
intent. There are vestas, safety-matches, patent
flint-and-steel contrivances, with silver tubes and
marvellous screws wherewith to put them out when they have
served your turn. Some are excellent, many passable, still
more intolerable. One of these times it may be worth while
to speak of the good ones, but at present we care only to
treat of those that are bad, and that briefly.

"Here's a 'Flamer'--we name no names--everybody seems to
make flamers; and this one deserves his title. We want to
light a peaceful pipe, and he bursts out in a fury like unto
nothing on earth so much as Etna in convulsion, or the
Tuilleries in petroleum blaze. But, if you have any respect
for your tobacco, your lips, your nostrils, or your lungs,
you will let him get rid of his flames before you apply him
to your cigar; and, when you do venture so far, he drops off
the stick and burns a hole in the carpet. Or, if you be
daring enough to take a light from the flamer while he
flames, you spoil your tobacco, foul your mouth, and get a
taste of sulphur-suffocation such as Asmodeus might have
were he to take a whiff of a smoke-and-fire belching chimney
in the Black Country as he flies across that district by
night. Haven't got a light? Glad of it. Try a
Vesuvian-round, black and tipped with blue. There's a
pyrotechnic display for you! Now, in with it, after the
approved style illustrated by the two human hands engaged in
lighting a cigar on the illuminated cover of the box. 'Ugh!'
you say. Just so; you've got a mouthful of choice
abominations, which will cost you much waste of saliva,
several shivers, and the whole piece of tobacco you were
about to enjoy. Here, put that away; take another, light it
quietly with this wax-ve