n the
light and they beheld a man lying in bed!

William was stepping hastily to her side to shield her vision from
this improper spectacle, when he paused as if frozen to the floor. The
man was now sitting up in bed and he had a _red flannel night gown,
one eye_, AND TWO NOSES!

"What the devil are you doing here?" exclaimed the monster in the red
flannel nightgown.

"That I will gladly tell you, for I would not have you believe that we
wantonly intruded upon your slumbers." And thereupon William related
that he was a citizen of Bensonville who had met a former visitor
there and they had come here to talk over mutual acquaintances and
improve their minds by discreet discourse. "But, sir," he said, in
concluding, "pardon my natural curiosity concerning yourself. Who are
you and why are you?"

"If I had the printed copies of my life here, I would gladly sell you
one, but I left them all behind. My name is Walker Sheldrup. I am
registered from Springfield, Mass., but I am from Dubuque, Iowa. I was
born in Sedalia, Mo., where my father was a prominent citizen. It was
he who led the company of men who, with five ox teams, hauled the
courthouse away from Georgetown and laid the foundations of Sedalia's
greatness. Had he lived, Sedalia would not have tried in vain to swipe
the capital from Jefferson City. As a youth I was distinguished--but
I'll cut all that out. Your presence here and the door being locked
behind you only too surely warns me that we have no time to lose. They
have taken you for the snake-eating lady and the rubber-skinned boy,
who ran away when I did and who were to meet me here in Chicago. If
you will turn your heads away so I can dress, I will continue. You
have heard of prenatal influences. Shortly before I was born, my
mother made nine pumpkin pies and set them to cool on a stone wall
beneath the shade of a large elm. As luck would have it, a menagerie
passed by and an elephant grabbed those pies one after another and ate
them. The sight of that enormous pachyderm gobbling my mother's
cherished handiwork, completely upset her. I was born with two noses
like the two tusks of the beast. At the same time, like the trunk,
they are movable. My two noses are as mobile and useful as two fingers
and if you have a quarter with you, I will gladly perform some curious
feats. My noses being so near together, ordinarily, I join them with
flesh-colored wax. I then seem to have but one nose, although a very
large