d to land
Thare wur flags of all nations, fra th' Union Jack
To Bacchus an' Atlas wi' th' globe on his back,
For th' Inspector and Conductor, and all sorls o' fray,
Wur expected directly to land at th' railway.

So I stared until both een wur varry near bleared,
An' waited an' waited--at last it appeared,
It wur filled full o' folk as eggs full o' meat,
An' it tuk four engines to bring it up reight,
Two hed long chimlas an' tuther hed noan,
But thay stuck weel together like a dog to a boan.

They wur gruntin' an' growlin' wur th' folk at gat aat,
So I made sum inquiries wat it wur abaat;
For i' all mi born days I ne'er heard nowt so called,
For three or four times thay sed it hed stall'd
Wal sum o'th' crookt-legg'd ens bethout of a scheam,
An' thay went back to Keighla for a hamper o' steam.

An' my word an' honner, it did mak a gert din,
For I stud by and heard it an' saw it cum in;
I expected it cummin as quiet as a lamb,
But no daat a'th' noises wur nobbut a sham;
But wat's th' use o' tellin yo ha it did cum,
I'd forgotten yo'd ridden to Wibsey begum.

Thare wur fifty i' number invited to dine,
All us at hed acted reight loyal to th' line;
Sa I thout that I'd go, for I knew weel enuff
'At th' puddings this time wud be made o'th' reight stuff
And noan o' that stuffment that gav th' Keighla band,
Toan awf on it rubbish and tother awf sand.

For twelve stone o' flour (3lbs. to a man)
Wur boiled i' oud Bingleechin's kaa lickin pan,
Wi gert lumps o' sewet at th' cook hed put in't,
At shane like a ginney just new aat o'th' mint;
Wi nives made a purpos to cut it i' rowls,
An' th' sauce wur i' buckets, an mighty big bowls.

They wur chattin an' tawkin an' sucking ther spice,
An' crackin at dainties thay thout 'at wur nice,
Wal th' oud parson gat up and pulled a long face,
An' mutter'd sum words 'at thay call sayin' th' grace,
But I niver goam'd that, cos I knew for a fact
It wur nobbut a signal for th' puddin attack.

And I'll tell yo wat, folk, tho yo maint beleeve,
But yo tawk abaat Wibsey folk heytin horse beef,
Yo sud a seen Locker taaners brandishin' thair nives,
An' choppin and cuttin thair wallopin shives,
An' all on em shaating thay liked th' puddin th' best,
For nowt wur like th' puddin for standin the test.

And while thay wur cuttin an' choppin away,
The